New Year, Same Trash: Resolutions I Absolutely Did Not Keep (A Vintage Short Original)

by Samantha Irby

This is how tenuous being a writer was before Google docs; a dude with a backed-up kitchen sink in the apartment above yours could destroy your dreams in an afternoon!

Making up stories has always been more difficult than just embellishing the shit out of my own, so I just let that fantasy go. But one of these days I’m going to work up enough courage to pay someone to teach me how to properly construct a narrative. Then brace yourselves for a lot of short stories about a scrappy heroine named Amanda who bangs a lot of implausibly attractive people.

51. Be honest about shit that is overwhelming to me. GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME. I’M STRESSED, HOE.