Made for Love

by Alissa Nutting

It felt like if she made enough noise, the house would transform into her dream parents’ home instead of her father’s. The bright suburban décor that filled its rooms would be a convincing argument that it was not inhabited by a dour hermit couple but by two warm parents who weren’t too depressed or cynical to attempt home improvement. Hazel often thought of how different her life might be if she’d been raised by people who knew wallpaper could make a difference and proved it. Parents who were enthusiastic and boundlessly accepting and messaged her sayings like “Failure is part of the journey to success.” Ones who were politically active in causes of social justice and didn’t base their voting decisions on xenophobic rumors they heard from the line cook and sometimes counter waiter at the corner diner who felt Hitler was not a saint but did have a lot of good ideas that should not be thrown out with the Holocaust bathwater. “I’m grateful for the myriad ways you did not abuse me,” Hazel clarified. “I was never starved or kept inside a cage or repeatedly burned with cigarettes. I guess it just sucks how a lot of parents like their children but you didn’t like me. It also sucks how even though I didn’t really like you, I never stopped wanting you to like me, because you never cared if I liked you or didn’t.”

this is just so sad! who else feels this way? i'm sure there are others out there who could use some love and compassion