In a fit of road rage, she once called a man Mr. Silver Dildo. “Mom, WHY,” I said, aghast. “That silver car is his dildo, Tricia,” she explained. “He’s compensating with that car.” She regularly accuses men of jacking off in their vehicles, despite the fact that she doesn’t know what the act of jacking off physically entails. She just thinks it’s an extra-bad kind of wasting time, of the sort practiced in prison yards, public schools, and Washington, D.C.
