No One Writes Back

by Jang Eun-Jin

I had to give up or set aside many things to come on this journey: home, family, friends, a job, and love. In the first place, this journey wasn’t meant as a means to gain something. I embarked upon the journey to rid myself of things, and it could only really begin when I did so. Still, there’s probably a bit of something I hope to have gained by the end of the journey. If there is, it’s probably something like quiet stability. It’s a simple desire for me. To be honest, I think you should gain at least one thing from a long journey. If there was nothing to be gained, I’d feel wronged, and the people who have blabbed on about traveling in all those books, and urged others to travel, would feel ashamed.

My mother had a thing for collecting stuff. Just as I began collecting stamps one day, my mother suddenly began to collect things with enthusiasm. My love of collecting comes from my mother. Interestingly, my mother’s collection consisted of emotional things, not tangible objects. In other words, she didn’t collect things like stamps or model cars, but intangible things like sentences from books, dialogues from movies, or incidents from the news.

What I’ve learned on my journey is that the fewer destinations you have, the better. When there’s no goal, there’s no expectation, and when there’s no expectation, there’s no disappointment.

“You don’t get any letters because you only think about getting them. If you want to get them, first try sending them. You’ll be sure to hear back.”

“But writing novels doesn’t make you nervous?” “No.” “It makes you lonely, though.” “I don’t really know what it’s like to be lonely, because I haven’t been with another person very often.”

What was true beauty? Was it beauty if you found it in something ugly and insignificant?

A habit is something more mysterious and confounding than affection. Affection is a conscious thing, but habits are subconscious. I thought at the time that perhaps what’s real is dominated by the subconscious.

“You look sexy. When you deliver letters.”

Life is bearable when you have someone to write, and someone who writes you back. Even if it’s just one person.