Void Star

by Zachary Mason

Corridor upon corridor, none finished but all the same, loops of cable hanging from the ceiling like jungle vines, and she wonders what it would be like to be able to be lost.

Kuan Lon already feels like just the next thing, not much different from any other place. It’s almost disappointing. He wants there to be another city, or sequence of cities, cursed cities buried ever deeper in the jungle, dead and shattered, stained skulls entangled in suffocating vines, culminating in some unfathomable absolute zero.

I prayed fiercely for the strength to just let it happen, but then I stopped, because suddenly I knew beyond question that I’d been praying to the void, that no one was listening, or ever had been, and with that I felt nothing but a profound emptiness and a slight sorrow. Before that, I’d thought I didn’t fear death, but it was only then that I realized that fearing death was all I’d ever done, and in that moment my fear was gone, which made me free, though all the light had left the world.

The ground rises as he approaches the tower; he looks back over his shoulder at the ruined city and the sea. He reminds himself he’s literally exploring a jungle-choked lost city, which is a real adventure by any standard, but the experience is emptier than he’d expected. Did Arthur’s knights ever slouch on their horses, worn by boredom, their thoughts a jumble of past battles and old loves?

The damage will express itself, she thinks. His victory is he’s had his time.