Before We Were Yours

by Lisa Wingate

“So sad when it happens this way. So out of order when a life has not even one breath in this world.”

“You have to wonder sometimes…why…when a child is so very wanted…” A veil is lowered. Tiny eyes are shrouded. They will never see.

I’m clinging by all ten fingernails to the best-case

Every available avenue is paved with guilt, lined with pain, and pockmarked with shame.

Anger and blame are powerful weapons.

Women can’t afford it in this arena. It’s seen as incompetence, weakness.

Even the Depression can’t starve the river, he says every time he tells the story. The river’s got her own magic. She takes care of her people. Always will.

Always use your brains, Rill, Briny says in my mind, and you’ll find your way out of a scrape quicker’n anything.

Times have changed, but the old doctrines still apply.

Life is not unlike cinema. Each scene has its own music, and the music is created for the scene, woven to it in ways we do not understand. No matter how much we may love the melody of a bygone day or imagine the song of a future one, we must dance within the music of today, or we will always be out of step, stumbling around in something that doesn’t suit the moment.

This music of old age…it isn’t made for dancing. It’s so…lonely. You’re a burden to everyone.”

“People don’t come into our lives by accident.”

reluctantly balances on the edge of a rocker.

But the love of sisters needs no words. It does not depend on memories, or mementos, or proof. It runs as deep as a heartbeat. It is as ever present as a pulse.