How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen: A Survival Guide to Life with Children Ages 2-7 (The How To Talk Series)

by Joanna Faber

REMINDER: Tools for Resolving Conflict 1. Express Your Feelings . . . Strongly! “HEY, I don’t like to see people being pushed!” 2. Show Your Child How to Make Amends “Your sister got scared on the top of the slide. Let’s do something to make her feel better. Do you want to offer her some pretzels? Do you think she’d like to play with your sand bucket?” 3. Offer a Choice “We’re going to give the slide a rest for now. I can see you’re in no mood to wait for a turn. You can swing on the swings or you can play in the sandbox. You decide.” 4. Take Action Without Insult “We’re heading home. We’ll try the playground another day. I’m too worried about children getting hurt right now.” 5. Try Problem-Solving Step One: Acknowledge your child’s feelings “I can see that you don’t like your hand held in the parking lot. It makes your fingers feel squeezed.” Step Two: Describe the problem “The problem is, I worry about cars hitting children in the parking lot.” Step Three: Ask for ideas “We need some ideas so we can go back to the park and have a good time without people getting mad or scared. What can we do?” Step Four: Decide which ideas you both like “So you like the idea of holding on to my sleeve and leading me to the playground. Let’s circle that one.” Step Five: Try out your solutions “Here we are at the parking lot. Grab my sleeve and show me which way to go!” • If nothing is working, you may have to reconsider your basic expectations. • Show respect for the conflict. Don’t mini...