When children have left you an unpleasant surprise, resist the urge to threaten and accuse: “Who made this big mess? No TV tonight if this doesn’t get cleaned up.” Instead, stick with describing what you see and giving information. “I see crumbs all over the floor. That will attract ants. This room needs a good sweeping. Here’s the broom!” After the cleanup is finished you can say, “I see a clean floor. The ants will have to go outside and find their snacks in the yard.” If you feel the urge to lecture, try to limit yourself to a word. You’ll get more traction with “Crumbs!” than you will if
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