How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen: A Survival Guide to Life with Children Ages 2-7 (The How To Talk Series)

by Joanna Faber

Say it with a word. When I’m driven into a frenzy by dawdling kids (and my gentler tools of playfulness and offering choices to get them into the car have failed) I yell, “CAR!!!” with all my frustration packed into that word. Chances are the word car, even delivered at top volume, will not cause lasting damage to the psyche. If one word is not enough, you can direct your fury into giving information. You can roar, “BROTHERS ARE NOT FOR KICKING!!!” You can express your feelings strongly. Use the word I instead of you. “I GET VERY UPSET WHEN I SEE A BABY BEING PINCHED!!!” You can describe what you see. “I see people getting hurt!!!” You can take action. “I can’t allow sand throwing! WE ARE LEAVING!!!” None of these words wound. They don’t tell a child he is mean or worthless or unloved. They do let him know that his parent is past all patience. And they model a healthy way to express anger and frustration without attack.