How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen: A Survival Guide to Life with Children Ages 2-7 (The How To Talk Series)

by Joanna Faber

you may feel tempted to throw in a little comparison to make the older child feel better about not being babied. It can seem like a good idea to reassure the older sibling of his superiority. (“You’re a big boy. You can climb the stairs and the baby can’t. You can get in the carseat all by yourself. You know how to bake cookies with me. The baby can’t do that!”) This kind of talk is risky! The baby won’t stay helpless forever. We don’t want an older child to feel threatened by a younger sibling’s progress. His self-esteem shouldn’t rest on the shaky foundation of the baby’s ineptitude. Instead, tell him how lucky that baby is to have a big brother who is such a skilled seatbelt buckler, and that soon he will be teaching his little sister how to buckle herself in, or climb the stairs, or bake a cookie. We want him to feel proud of his competence and of his position as a benevolent helper.