How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen: A Survival Guide to Life with Children Ages 2-7 (The How To Talk Series)

by Joanna Faber

You can offer a choice and at the same time make the task feel less overwhelming: “Do you want to start by picking up all the books, or by tossing all the dirty clothes in the basket?” “Do you want to pick up red Legos or blue?” “Cars or crayons and markers?” You can be playful, and make the block bag talk: “I’m hungry, feed me blocks. Mmmm, I like these crunchy rectangles! Give me more! Yuck, I hate the triangles. They stick in my throat. Ooh, these green ones are extra tasty.” You can make it a game: “How many blocks can we get into the bag in two minutes? Johnny, you set the timer. Ready . . . set . . . GO!” You can issue a challenge: “I’ll bet you can’t get all the crayons back in the box by the time I empty the dishwasher.” (Let them win, of course.) You can get them counting: “Each citizen must deposit five pieces of trash in the garbage pail before leaving this room.” You can write a note: Jackets away before play. Even children who can’t read enjoy getting a note. You can include a picture or read it to them. Describe what you see with appreciation. “Wow, look at this big cleanup you did. You guys are quite a team. This floor was covered with dirty laundry and train tracks, and now it’s a pleasure to walk on!” It’s important to point out progress instead of criticizing an incomplete job. I’ve derailed many a cleanup effort by saying, “This is nowhere near finished. It still looks like a disaster area!” You’ll get better results with a statement like, “I can see you...