But when we use words that evaluate, we often achieve the opposite effect. As you probably noticed when reading the scenarios above, praise that judges or evaluates can create problems. It can make us focus on our weaknesses rather than our strengths. I’m not really that great. You should have seen me ten minutes ago. It can make us doubt the sincerity of the person offering the praise. Does he really mean it or is he just trying to make me feel good? What does he want from me? It can feel dismissive. Did he even look at all that work I did? Maybe it wasn’t worth the effort. It can make us
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