I wouldn’t say the foot’s ballooned – it’s not ballooned – but it’s definitely put on a bit of weight. Still, happens to the best of us. You want to see my back! No, but seriously, it’s definitely become infected – whether from the stick that cut it or the damp old bread that I found in the park, I know not. What I do know is that it’s swollen and emitting a kind of yellow gel (I guess you could call it ‘foot tripe’), while – and this might be my imagination – audibly humming with germs.
