101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think

by Brianna Wiest

In a sense, the notion that thoughts create reality is more than just a nice idea; it’s also a fact of evolution. It was because of language and thought that we could create a world within our minds, and ultimately, it is because of language and thought that we have evolved into the society we have today—for better and for worse.

So many people get caught up in allowing the past to define them or haunt them simply because they have not evolved to the place of seeing how the past did not prevent them from achieving the life they want, it facilitated it.

A lack of routine is just a breeding ground for perpetual procrastination. It gives us gaps and spaces in which our subconscious minds can say: “well, you can take a break now,” when in fact, you have a deadline. But if you’re used to taking a break at that point in time, you’ll allow it simply because “you always do.”

your relationship to everyone else is an extension of your relationship to yourself.

It is simply the knowing that the worst thing that could ever happen…is just a feeling at the end of the day.

If I’ve heard it once I’ve heard it a thousand times: the woman with anxiety who says, “It’s just the way I am.” The man with a dozen irrational fears who attributes them to “his personality.” The thing is that nothing has to be an essential part of you unless you decide it is—least of all anxiety and fear. In fact, those things are never essentially part of who someone is; they are learned behaviors.

Happiness is not only how we can astound our senses, but also the peace of mind that comes from knowing we are becoming who we want and need to be. That’s what we receive from pursuing the happiness of excellence: not accomplishment, but identity.

It’s easier to act your way into a new way of thinking rather than think your way into a new way of acting, so do one little thing today and let the momentum build.

101 Things more worth Thinking about than Whatever’s Consuming You

Nice list

The hardest nights of your life. What you would have done differently. What you would do if you could re-enter those hours and advise your past self.

Your singular, deepest fear. What your singular, deepest fear tells you about your singular, deepest desire.

The fact that the kind of love worth choosing and keeping is the kind that ever so slightly tilts the axis on which your world spins, leaving nothing to ever be the same again.

How many people go to bed at night crying, wishing they had what you have—the job, the love, the apartment, the education, the friends, and so on.

How many times in your life you went to bed crying, wishing you could have what you have now—the job, the love, the apartment, the education, the friends, and so on.

Wanting something badly enough doesn’t qualify you to have it. You cannot be whatever you want, but if you work hard and don’t give up and happen to be born to circumstances that facilitate it, you can maybe do something that crosses your abilities with your interests. And if you’re really smart, you’ll figure out how to be grateful for it, even on the difficult days.

People who jump A-Z and only think up worst-case scenarios usually do not have the confidence that they can take care of themselves if something unexpected were to arise—so they prepare for the worst and rob themselves of the best in the process.

Think about who you were two years ago, or even five. Try to remember a random day in your life during those times. Notice how your focus immediately turns toward what you had to be grateful for. Learn to do that with today.

Let your choices be guided by the person you hope to become.

If you’re operating on a scarcity mindset, you’ll always be unhappy, no matter what you have or get.

Re-write your “success” narrative. Sometimes success is getting enough sleep. Sometimes it’s doing what you know is right despite the fact that everyone else in your life is looking down on it. Sometimes it’s just getting through the day or the month. Lower your expectations.

Don’t confuse a broken dream with a broken future.

Don’t confuse a broken heart for a broken life.

Read books that interest you, and read them often. Hearing a new voice in your mind will teach you how to think differently.

Fucking try. Honestly, seriously, try. Put your everything into the work you have. Be kind to people when they don’t deserve it. You’ll have a lot less energy to worry with when you’re funneling it into things that are really worthwhile.

Trust that things get better as time goes on. Not because time heals, but because you grow. You discover that you’re capable. You realize that your fourth breakup doesn’t hurt even nearly as bad as your first did. This isn’t because life is easier, it’s because you’re smarter.

When we think there is a purpose for our pain, the discomfort of it dissolves. It turns from an annoyance to an opportunity. Our suffering ceases.

What we do know is that people who are able to create happy lives for themselves right here and right now are the ones who think that way.

This, above most else, is a rule. Love is not something you “get.” It’s not something someone else has and you must earn. It is not something that exists outside of you. When someone doesn’t want to express affection and love and respect to you, you have two choices: You can try to change that fact (and keep yourself stuck) or you can keep giving love (which will let you move on).

Your life turns into a series of little love stories, all of which teach you how to love better, how to give more, how to be more of yourself, what you like and what you don’t. How to walk away with grace, and respect yourself genuinely, and listen to your intuition.

People don’t have breakdowns unless they are on the precipices of “breakthroughs.” Breakdowns—or any kind of intense mental-emotional turmoil—are always a sign that things are in the process of changing. Otherwise, they’d just be “normal.” You’re done accepting your old “normal,” and you’re onto bigger, better, brighter, happier things.

You hold yourself accountable for your own happiness. You understand the phrase “it may not be your fault, but it is still your problem.” You are in control of your life because you are not letting other things do it for you.

The people who have been through a lot are often the ones who are wiser and kinder and happier overall. This is because they’ve been “through” it, not “past” it or “over” it. They’ve completely acknowledged their feelings and they’ve learned and they’ve grown. They develop compassion and self-awareness. They are more conscious of who they let into their lives. They take a more active role in creating their lives, in being grateful for what they have and in finding reasons for what they don’t.

You will keep seeking comfort in the things that hurt you because you’ve yet to step into the discomfort of something new.

It’s not about following passion; it’s about following purpose passionately. Passion is a manner of traveling, not a means to determine a destination.

Your impermanence is a thing you should meditate on every day: There is nothing more sobering, nor scary, nor a faster-way-to-cut-the-negative-bullshit than to remember that you do not have forever.

Often we feel almost guilted into remaining close with people to whom we don’t actually feel obligation, and that is a recipe for emotional disaster.

sometimes walking away is the best way to do that. Most of the time, it’s the healthiest choice.

The heart will tell you what; the mind will tell you how. Let them stay in their corners of expertise.

Whenever there is a problem in your life, there is a problem with how you are thinking, reacting, or responding. Whatever you feel you are not receiving is a direct reflection of what you are not giving. Whatever you are angered by is what you aren’t willing to see in yourself.

If you miss somebody, call them. It is silly to suffer in silence. It is noble and humbling to tell someone that they matter to you, regardless of whether or not you matter to them.

Nobody ever gave someone permission to be enlightened. No new line of thinking or creative genius was born of what was already acceptable.

the only way to reinvent anything is not to destroy what’s present but to create a new, more efficient model, one that renders the other obsolete.

We are told to believe that not being able to let go of the things we lose does nothing but prove how much we loved them in the first place, and I don’t think this is true.

I know that my success has been directly proportionate to my suffering. That is something I know.

At this point, the most liberating thought I have ever had is that I would not change a thing. Everything in my life served a purpose, the darkest and shittiest and terrible and most self-destructive among them. They all brought me here.

“My life does not define me, I define my life. This moment is not my life, this is a moment in my life.”

“There is no grand moment in life. You don’t wake up and say, ‘Aha! I’ve made it!’ Happiness is all in details, the joy is all in the journey. Always has been, always will be.”

“The worst things to happen to me were the things that had to teach me what nothing else could, to prepare me for things so wonderful, I couldn’t imagine them, let alone know I had to get ready for them.”

We expect unconditional love from the people who are closest to us, as if that will be enough to make up for the fact that we do not love ourselves.

Loving yourself is letting yourself be loved, too.