101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think

by Brianna Wiest

And more importantly than those things, they know that moving on isn’t a conscious choice, but rather what happens when you stop trying to. When you stop forcing yourself to forget. You forget about them when you start thinking about you.

They know there is incomparable strength in having seen yourself through the worst.

You’re supposed to be embarrassed of your younger self—really. It’s a mark of progress. (It doesn’t mean you have to stay embarrassed, though.) It’s good because it means you’re able to look back and wonder, “How was I ever at that place?” indicating that you’re no longer there. I hope you never reach a point in which you look back on your younger self and think, “Wow, I had it all figured out!” That means you stopped growing. (And that means you stopped living.)

Envision your most actualized self: What would they think, if not this? Imagining what your best self would say about an issue is a pretty good way to determine what you should shift your mindset toward.

You will always have anxiety. You will always feel fear. If you give a damn about your life, or if you’re even playing the slightest bit of attention to what’s going on here, you’ll know there’s a lot to be anxious and afraid of. The end goal is not to eliminate those feelings, but to strengthen the mental muscle that will allow you to choose to be happy in spite of them, not become paralyzed when they’re present. That’s all. For some people, strengthening that muscle will require a simple shift of perspective. For others, it will be years of medication and therapy and more work and effort than they’ve ever put into anything before. It is the fight of all our lives and the thing we most owe to ourselves. If you’re going to pick a battle, pick this one.

The base of any personal catastrophe or desire for deeper understanding is usually the same: It’s the realization that you, and only you, are responsible for your life. You cannot depend on anything—anything!—to do the real, grueling work of what it means to find comfort in a world that’s entirely impermanent. No job, no amount of money, no relationship, no accomplishment can supplement that for you. It’s a peace you must come to first; then you can enjoy the rest.

But the most difficult moments of your life will be the catalysts of your becoming. The challenges will grow you into someone you never imagined you could be. The “bad” things in your life will be the necessary leeways into things better than you can imagine. You will be grateful things didn’t turn out the way you wanted. You will be grateful for what you struggle with once you get to the other side.