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Real emotional maturity is how thoroughly you let yourself feel anything. Everything.
simply the knowing that the worst thing that could ever happen…is just a feeling at the end of the day.
suffering is just the refusal to accept what is. That’s it.
Numbness is not nothing, neutral is nothing. Numbness is everything at once.
They are how you communicate with yourself. Every feeling is worthwhile. You miss so much by trying to change every one of them away, or thinking there are some that are right or wrong or good or bad or that you should have or shouldn’t,
When you choose to value having other people’s acceptance over your own,
We’re more invested in how we’re perceived than who we are,
Nobody wants to believe happiness is a choice, because that puts responsibility in their hands. It’s the same reason people self-pity: to delay action, to make an outcry to the universe, as though the more they state how bad things are, the more likely it is that someone else will change them.
But the real question, and the real work, is not understanding what’s good for us, but why we choose otherwise.
Moving yourself past resistance is a matter of shifting your perception of comfort.
You will never be ready for the things that matter, and waiting to feel ready before you start acting is how the knowing-doing gap widens.
It’s uncomfortable to work, to stretch the capacity of your tolerance, to be vulnerable with someone you care deeply about, but it is never more comfortable than going your whole life without the things you really want.
The real question is what work are you willing to do even if nobody claps?
when we think other people love us, we give ourselves permission to feel love.
we rely on everyone but ourselves to allow us to feel what’s already inside us.
The idea that behaving a certain way will elicit a certain response is a delusion that will keep you puppeteering through your life.
(in fearing that happiness won’t last forever, we lose it—in fearing that grief will last forever, we create it).
discomfort is in avoiding the pain, not the pain itself.
Everyone fears rejection, but not everyone gets to truly experience the kind of acceptance that comes from being yourself unconditionally.
Practice radical acceptance. Learn to tell the parts of your story you’d rather shove under the rug.
Your shame is what’s shielding you from expressing your true self,
