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When you accuse someone of being wrong, you close them off to considering another perspective by heightening their defenses.
When you accuse someone of being wrong, you close them off to considering another perspective by heightening their defenses.
That’s interesting, I never thought of it that way…”) and then present your own opinion (“Something I recently learned is this…”)
That’s interesting, I never thought of it that way…”) and then present your own opinion (“Something I recently learned is this…”)
Validating someone’s emotions is validating who they really are, even if you would respond differently.
Validating someone’s emotions is validating who they really are, even if you would respond differently.
They recognize that their “shadow selves” are the traits, behaviors, and patterns that aggravate them about others.
They recognize that their “shadow selves” are the traits, behaviors, and patterns that aggravate them about others.
They do not argue with people who only want to win, not learn.
They do not argue with people who only want to win, not learn.
You can identify that this is the case when people start “pulling” for arguments or resorting to shoddy logic only to seem as though they have an upper hand. Socially intelligent people know that not everybody wants to communicate, learn, grow or connect—and so they do not try to force them.
You can identify that this is the case when people start “pulling” for arguments or resorting to shoddy logic only to seem as though they have an upper hand. Socially intelligent people know that not everybody wants to communicate, learn, grow or connect—and so they do not try to force them.
“Poisoning the well” is when someone attacks the character of a person so as to shift the attention away from the (possibly very valid) point being made.
“Poisoning the well” is when someone attacks the character of a person so as to shift the attention away from the (possibly very valid) point being made.
that suffering is just the refusal to accept what is.
that suffering is just the refusal to accept what is.
healing is really just letting yourself feel.
healing is really just letting yourself feel.
As kids we were punished for crying out if our emotional experience wasn’t in accordance with our parents' convenience.
As kids we were punished for crying out if our emotional experience wasn’t in accordance with our parents' convenience.
Trying to change how you feel is like finding a road sign that points in the opposite direction of where you had intended to go and getting out to try to turn the sign, rather than your course of action.
Trying to change how you feel is like finding a road sign that points in the opposite direction of where you had intended to go and getting out to try to turn the sign, rather than your course of action.
We’re more comforted by ideas of what things are as opposed to what they really are.
We’re more comforted by ideas of what things are as opposed to what they really are.
What if healing yourself is not fixing an attitude, not changing an opinion, not altering an aesthetic, but shifting a presence, an awareness, an energy?
What if healing yourself is not fixing an attitude, not changing an opinion, not altering an aesthetic, but shifting a presence, an awareness, an energy?
If you could talk to your younger self, you would be able to say: “We did it, we made it out, we survived that terrible thing.”
If you could talk to your younger self, you would be able to say: “We did it, we made it out, we survived that terrible thing.”
Nobody wants to believe happiness is a choice, because that puts responsibility in their hands.
Nobody wants to believe happiness is a choice, because that puts responsibility in their hands.
People think happiness is an emotional response facilitated by a set of circumstances, as opposed to a choice and shift of perception/awareness.
three primary forms of happiness: the happiness of pleasure, the happiness of grace, and the happiness of excellence5.
“knowing-doing gap,” or the experience of knowing the best thing to do, but doing something else anyway6.
How you likely won’t remember this particular day 20 years from now.
The ways you have sincerely failed, and how you can commit yourself to doing better, not only for yourself but for the people who love and rely on you.
The ways in which your current situation—though perhaps unplanned or unwanted—could be the path to the place you’ve actually always wanted to be, if only you’d begin to think of it that way.
When people complain, it’s because they want others to recognize and validate their pain; even if it’s not the real problem, it’s still a form of affirmation.
We take past emotions and project them onto situations that are in our current lives. This is to say, unless we heal what happened in the past, we’re always going to be controlled by it.
Health is having a spectrum of emotion.
“Emotional Oracle Effect”
it’s healthier to experience everything, the good and the bad.
Each day, write down one thing your body allowed you to do.
Aspire to be someone who gives things meaning, not who seeks things to give them meaning.
Be mindful, present and intentional with everything you do.
Make sure you’re living more than you’re thinking about living.
Prove yourself wrong. Show yourself that your thoughts have no basis in truth.
Fall in love with the unknown, for the fact that it will almost always bring you things better than you could have imagined—things
You shouldn’t trust your mind to think healthfully on autopilot. You have to train it.
The more fear, the more love.
Choose to build your life from a place of gratitude and vision, rather than running from your own fears.
