Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts: A CBT-Based Guide to Getting Over Frightening, Obsessive, or Disturbing Thoughts

by Sally M. Winston PsyD

Yet another illustration: What’s the best way to handle quicksand? The more you struggle to climb out, the more you sink. It is not immediately obvious, but the way to get out is to lie back and stop struggling! This increases your buoyancy, and you naturally float to the top where you are safe. There are other areas where effort directly interferes with your goals. Learning is one of these activities. Maximum learning requires an open, passive, curious attitude of attention. Judging yourself harshly while you are learning is not only unpleasant, it works against you. Have you had the experience of feeling pressure to learn something (a basketball play, French vocabulary, the plot of Hamlet, an app on your phone), and you keep getting it wrong? This is because you are putting pressure on yourself to learn, and this pressure interferes with the open, passive, attentive attitude that is best for learning. Once again, paradoxical effort means less is more in these circumstances. Helpful Fact: Less is more when coping with unwanted intrusive thoughts.