Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts: A CBT-Based Guide to Getting Over Frightening, Obsessive, or Disturbing Thoughts

by Sally M. Winston PsyD

It does not work to try to force your body to relax, to feel a particular emotion, or to force your mind to not have specific thoughts. And yet that is what most of us try (at least at first) when we are offended or scared by an unwanted intrusive thought. And then, when effort works backward, we think we should redouble our efforts. This is like trying to climb out of a hole by digging with a shovel, stopping a car by pressing the accelerator, or extinguishing a fire by fanning the flames. Paradoxical effort is illustrated by the adage “less is more.” But let’s be clear: there are many times that effort works well in our lives. In fact, most of us believe (and for good reason) that hard work increases the chances of success. Not that hard work guarantees success, but people who work harder are generally more successful and fulfill their goals, on average, more often than people who work less hard. While this is true, there are, however, many important times in everyone’s lives where less is more. And putting less direct effort into accomplishing a goal actually makes success more likely! This is paradoxical effort at work.