I’d ditched the liquefied-Cool-Whip-in-a-bottle white wine I used to love—a $14.99 Chardonnay from California—and I’d upgraded to the painfully hip Vin Jaune from the Jura, in France. This is a style of wine that, at its best, tastes like seawater mixed with rancid Martinelli’s cider. (It’s delicious, really. Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it.)