Blind Reader Wanted

by Georgia Le Carre

“There’s nothing to talk about. You’re either with me, or in the military.”

Call me a son of a bitch for not telling her the truth from the start, call me shit for brains, call me anything, but I’m not sorry. I love that woman too much to give a flying fuck about fair play or what anyone else thinks. Even if the rules I was sworn to uphold allowed me to tell her what I was involved in, which by the fucking way it didn’t, I was not about to lose the one thing in my life that was pure and perfect. So, yeah, I’m a selfish prick, but news flash, I never claimed to be a saint, and if I had to do it all again, I’d do the same fucking thing.

Whatever happens now, she loves me and it’ll be that much harder for her to keep resisting me. I’ll fight for her until she breaks down and takes me back, or I’ll be camped outside her front door because I ain’t no quitter.

I know that you probably still plan to tell me goodbye. And that’s okay. I did lie to you. I kept things from you. I can understand if you want to go, but I have to warn you I won’t, I can’t let you go. Ever. You’re mine. “You were mine from the day you walked out of that blue Toyota. You were as clean and as wholesome as an apple. I took one look at you and thought, she’s blind, but she’s shining with light and I can see, but I’m living with darkness. I survived because of you. You’re the reason I wake up in the morning, Lara. I ain’t going to stop asking you to marry me. I’ve good knees so I can stay on bended knee for as long as it takes.”

“As long as I live no one will ever hurt you again my Princess.”

“We don’t want Lobo to see this. I don’t want him getting ideas. You’re mine and he has to go find his own girl,” he said.

“He used to say there would be no more wars if politicians had to send their sons to fight.”

“Kit?” “Yeah?” “You remember that time we all went up to the mountain?” I smiled sadly at the memory. It was the last time we were all together. “Yeah, sure.” “We got married, you know? We exchanged rings under the moonlight and he swore to me that he would never love anybody else.” “He kept his promise, Marla.” “So did I,” she whispered, so softly I almost didn’t hear.

“To Roger,” she said. “To Roger.” “I wish I had met him.” “He would have loved you. Maybe too much. I might have got jealous.” I watched as she took one long pull of the beer. Then she casually handed her almost-full bottle to me. “That was delicious.” I was puzzled. “Just one sip?” Lara smiled and leaned back on her chair. “As soon as I have this baby, you can bring me an ice-cold beer at the maternity ward, and I promise I’ll drink the whole thing.” I sat straight up, my heart pounding. “What did you just say?” “You heard me,” she said smugly. I stared at my wife. She leaned her head back and smiled up at the sun. The news hit me in the gut and gave me the strangest feeling, a warmth that was entirely different from anything else I had ever experienced. I reached over to take her hand. “You’re sure?” She nodded and pulled my hand up to kiss my fingers. “And I was thinking … if it’s a boy, we can name him Roger.”

“How are my two girls today?” he asked. “Missing you,” I whispered. “I got a surprise for you,” he said. I grinned. “What?” He took my hands and put them in my lap. Then he put something that felt like a plastic or silicone square wrapped in a napkin in my hand. “What is this?” I asked. “It’s your daughter’s face.” I frowned. “What? How?” “It’s a 3D printed ultrasound. I sent the ultrasound files to Poland and they produced this.”