Off to Be the Wizard (Magic 2.0, #1)

by Scott Meyer

“You’re right. I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking.” “Good. I’m glad to hear you say that, because after watching you for less than a day I’m ready to issue my first official command as your master.” Martin braced himself. “I’m ready.” “Okay. Apprentice, I command you to . . . think! Being a man of action is fine, but you need to think before you act.” “That’s . . .” Phillip held up a hand. “Stop! Did you think about what you’re about to say?” “No.” “Then take a moment. Think about what you were going to say, what you have riding on my continued good will, and how I’m likely to react to the words you were about to let fall from your mouth like a partially chewed mouthful of spoiled cheese.”

free to muck about all we want.” “That’s a good explanation.” “But it’s not true, and I’ll tell you why. Predetermination. If that explanation is true, it means that everything we do was set in stone hundreds of years before we were born. It means we’re not individuals, just robots running through pre-programmed responses, and I can’t accept that.” “But the whole reason we’re here is that we’ve proved that we’re algorithms in a computer program.” “That may be, but I’m an algorithm with free will! Any time someone claims I don’t have free will I shout shut up at the top of my lungs, because it’s totally out of character for me, and it proves I have free will.” Martin thought about this for a moment. “You shout shut up every time?” “Yes.” “That proves nothing. If you do it every time, then yelling shut up is a pre-programmed response.” Phillip thought about that for a moment, then replied, “SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP!”

Awesome