Life and Death: Twilight Reimagined (The Twilight Saga)

by Stephenie Meyer

I decided the most beautiful of all was the smaller girl with the bronze-colored hair, though I expected the female half of the student body would vote for the movie-star blond guy.

This is so flipping weird.

I was already worried that just looking at her face was giving me unrealistic expectations that would haunt me for the rest of my life.

Okay, calm down Beau/Bella.

It was pathetic, and kind of stalkerish.

Well that's an ironic tbought.

“You’re an idiot,” she told me.

Oh good, female Edward is also the worst. So glad that didn't change.

Edythe was in her car already, two spaces down, sliding out into the lane in front of me, cutting me off. She stopped there—to wait for her family, I assumed.

Woman or man, this is still the biggest dick move.

Carine and Earnest

OMG THESE NAMES. WHY???

“That’s Samantha—Sam. She’s nineteen, I think. I don’t hang out with her. One of my friends was there before—Quil. I think she went up to the store.”

Imagine an entire wolf pack of really tall, built, pissed off chicks and one dude. I wanna read that book.

I went upstairs and got dressed for the day, clean jeans and a t-shirt, since I was staying indoors.

Who the hell gets dressed to stay inside? (She asks in three day old yoga pants and a T-shirt on day 187 of quarantine).

I’d never really been on a date like this—a real date date.

Wooooooould we call grabbing food after a near death experience a date???

“Will I see you tomorrow?” “Do you want to?” she whispered. “More than anything else I’ve ever wanted.”

OMG YOU'VE BARELY SPOKEN.

“Sleep well,” she said.

CREEPYYYYY

EYES CLOSED, EDYTHE STEPPED BLINDLY INTO THE LIGHT. My heart jumped into my throat and I started sprinting toward her. “Edythe!” It was only when her eyes flashed open and I got close enough to begin to understand what I was seeing that I realized she hadn’t caught on fire.

Why the hell would you think she's on fire?

“Next it was your arms—I’m very fond of your arms, Beau—this includes your shoulders and hands.”

Damn, Edythe out here getting way more spicy than Edward did. I see you.

Archie stood straight, still as a statue. His style seemed to be stealth rather than an intimidating windup.

I can’t stress enough how much I irrationally hate the male version of Alice. BRING MY QUEEN BACK.

“I’ll tell you what happened,” I said in the hardest voice I could manage. “I had a great night with the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen—and we talked about the future. The way she sees it—it’s just like you. She’s going to stay here the rest of her life. She’s going to get married and have kids and never leave. And for a second, that all actually made sense to me. I’m losing myself here—I’m getting sucked in. If I don’t run now, I’ll never get out!”

Is he seriously using the "she's *too* amazing" excuse right now??

Time doesn’t mean the same thing to me that it does to you—or Jess, or anyone else.” Jessamine grinned and tweaked his ear. “So this won’t make sense to you. But for me, it’s like we’ve already been friends for a long time, Beau. The first second you became a part of Edythe’s life, for me it was like we’d already spent hundreds of hours together. We’ve laughed at Edythe’s overreactions together, we’ve annoyed Royal right out of the house together, we’ve stayed up all night talking with Carine together. . . .” I stared and he shrugged. “It’s how I experience the world.” “We’re friends?” I asked, my voice full of wonder. “Best friends,” he told me. “Someday. It was nice of my favorite sister, don’t you think, to fall in love with my best friend? I guess I owe her one.”

Does this count for Alice too?! THIS IS SO SWEET.

“How does someone become a vampire?” “Oh, is that all?” Jessamine muttered behind me. I’d forgotten she was listening.

It’s interesting that Jess is present for this scene when Jasper is not in the original.

“It’s too late,” Archie said. “We got here too late.” “You can see it?” Carine said in a more subdued voice. “There are only two futures left, Carine. He survives as one of us, or Edythe kills him trying to stop it from happening.”

OH SNAP!!

Someone named Aro had murdered his sister—his best friend’s wife. The best friend was Marcus—he was the man I’d seen standing with Carine. Aro’s own wife—Sulpicia, the one with all the masses of dark hair in the painting—had been the only witness. She’d turned him over to Marcus and their soldiers. There had been some question of what to do—Aro had a very powerful extra gift, like what Edythe had, but more, she said—and the Volturi weren’t sure they’d be able to succeed without him. But Sulpicia searched out a young girl—Mele, the one Edythe had called a servant and a thief—who had a gift of her own. She could absorb another vampire’s gift. She couldn’t use that stolen gift herself, but she could give it to someone else who she was touching. Sulpicia had Mele take Aro’s gift, and then Marcus executed him. Once she had her husband’s gift, Sulpicia found out that the third man in their group was in on the plot. He was executed, too, and his wife—Athenodora—joined with Sulpicia and Marcus to lead their soldiers. They overthrew the vampires who terrorized Europe, and then the ones who enslaved Egypt. Once they were in charge, they made regulations that kept the vampire world hidden and safe.

WTF?!? THIS IS AWESOME. GO QUEEN SULPICIA.

Charlie stayed alone while the funeral home employees filled the hole in. He didn’t watch. He sat in the chair that my mom had used and stared away to the north.

Omfg poor Charlie. I cannot with this.