Canada

by Mike Myers

FAME IS A REAL EXPERIENCE, BUT IT’S NOT A CANADIAN EXPERIENCE, AND NOTHING ABOUT GROWING UP IN CANADA PREPARES YOU FOR A PUBLIC LIFE.

When I hear people complain about fame, it always sounds to me like, “Why do they pay me in gold bars? Gold bars are so heavy.” But fame is not creativity, it’s the industrial disease of creativity. Fame is a real experience, but it’s not a Canadian experience, and nothing about growing up in Canada prepares you for a public life.

Canadians are also aware of the fact that we don’t have a famous cuisine. In New York City, I’ll go out for Italian, Chinese, or Mexican, but when’s the last time you went out for Canadian? You didn’t. And don’t say poutine. That’s a topping.

I like to think of the relationship between Canada and the United States as that of two brothers. We both share the same mother, Britain. Canada and the United States grew up in the same house, North America. The United States left home as a teenager and became a movie star. Canada decided to stay home and live with Mother.

I’m British by heritage, American by God’s grace, and Canadian by divine intervention.