this is how you know i want you.

by AVA.

some people are so deep you fall into them and you never stop falling.

you tasted like christmas morning high on cocaine.

i swear i knew your voice before i ever even heard it. you sounded like home.

a terrifying thought uncurls and straightens itself inside my mind: what if i love you?

my insecurities are getting the best of me and i want to give my best to you. but sometimes i am too much in my own mind. i make up something. i push you away. and i hope you don't change your mind.

i'm sorry. i don't really know how to be with another person. this is all so new to me. i tend to destroy things i'm afraid of. i tend to destroy things that i love. things i don't believe i’m deserving enough. i am broken and i hope you can understand.

you are reading something. you are always reading something. i hope you're re-reading something i wrote to you.

i found you or you found me and i can't help it and i've stopped caring, you make me so happy. i expected nothing and you became everything and this is hard for me to understand. i have never really felt this way and i can't really explain how i feel, i just feel like for the first time ever, everything here is enough.

you tell me i am enough. i have always been enough. i have always been more. i tell you as long as i am enough for you, i'll be okay.

there is a comfort in you i’ve never known. when i am with you, i am at rest.

waking up used to be hard. waking up to the same bullshit— day in. day out. makes you feel something not human. something no one cares about. i wasn't really living before you, but i can't wait to wake up now. i can’t wait to start the day and open my eyes and see you.

i love how it feels to be with you, like you fit into me and i fit into you. i love how easily i fall asleep when i'm with you.