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“He held my hand and picked up ice cubes, and he has a carful of motivational buttons.”
“But you know what feels better than anything physical?” Esben looks at me for a long time. “How it feels to be falling for someone the way that I’m falling for you.”
No more push and pull. No more wariness. I’m completely in this with you. I think I have been from the minute you picked up my ice cubes, but I just didn’t know it.”
“I love you, Allison. It happened when I wasn’t looking for it, when I didn’t know I needed it. But I fell in love with you so quickly and so smoothly. So without question.”
Because I am so goddamn in love with you that I can hardly breathe when we’re apart.
“I do love you. I don’t remember what not being in love with you feels like.”
“You have my heart.” “And you have mine,” I whisper back.
And what—oh God—what if I never get to prove how much harder and better I can love him? How I can fall in love even more deeply with this sincere, giving, undeniably everything boy who has rocked my world to its core?
There is no reason to ever stop kissing him, and it’s seriously possible that I could stay like this for the rest of my life.
“But first”—I start with no shame and no hesitancy—“but first, before any of that, do you want to go back to my room and be crazy in love?” “I do.” Esben’s lips play down my neck, and he takes my hand. “More than anything.” “And then?” I press my body against his. “And then, how about we never stop?” “Agreed. Never.”
There is no more white noise in my head or soul. There is no longer the belief that I only get one. I get way more than one. I get as many as I will allow, and I plan to allow many.
