Uncaged Wallflower

by Jennae Cecelia

Metamorphosis. Feeling your wings break through. Growing into the best you. Emerge from your chrysalis. Expand and learn something new. Don’t get wrapped up in your same old cocoon.

I wonder how our souls are picked for our bodies. Is a good soul placed into a bad body just to show others not to judge by outer appearance? Or, is a rotten soul put into a beautiful body to show others that looks are only enough until times get tough? Either way, our souls are what we take from this life to the next and our body is what is laid to rest.

I find myself living in thoughts of the future more than the realities of the present.

Hurrying through weekly tasks with thoughts only embedded with weekend bliss.

So I take brief moments, sit and enjoy the stars and the way the grass moves in the wind. Because those are present moments and I need to exist there more.

And that’s the thing about people. You can wrap them up in kindness & love, and they will still have something cold to say about you.

Surround yourself with people who don’t just ask how you are doing. Surround yourself with people who make an effort to make sure they are part of the reason you are doing so well.

If the words that spewed out of your mouth were the clothes wrapped around your body, the hair on your head, the flesh of your skin, would you think you are beautiful?

Life isn’t about always being the best. It’s about facing fears and growing from them. You don’t have to be number one. Just don’t live a life full of, “what if’s.”

I hated when trees were torn down and a large empty space filled the home they once owned.

There is no such thing as perfect. No one is free from faults. No one is ever going to always say the right things.

You may not be everyone’s cup of tea, some people need cream or sugar just to take you. Others enjoy you pure in taste.

I wake up with excitement in my stomach thinking of all the possibilities ahead.

Here’s to living without the fear of not knowing what is around the bend.

I used to be envious of the people who took all the good kind of risks. The ones who packed their bags and stuffed their car full of everything they would need to start over halfway across the country. But now I am smiling because that person is someone I could be.

Embrace your moments. The good and the bad. Moments come too quickly, and one day you will do anything to have them back.

At a young age, I felt the need to protect people.

Although the settings were no longer playgrounds or lunchrooms filled with adolescents, it was now an office with grown adults competing for a higher role.

I feel people’s pain, and I want to rescue them. I want to tell them they are better than the images people have of them. That they are beautiful.

Of all the paths I have gone down with bumps, sharp turns, dead ends, and flowers, my favorite was the one that lead me to you.

But, make sure your silence is your choice and not because you are scared of what your voice may say.

My mind will no longer over-analyze the past or stress about the unknown ahead.

I used to think my mind must be made up of storm clouds, lightning, flooded rain, and thunder. But you helped me realize what I truly embodied: green grass, sunshine, blue skies, crisp air. Some days, there are still sprinkles of rain and a cloud or two. But I am no longer near that awful typhoon.

My head creates thoughts of happiness instead of playing the same scene over and over in pain.

Out of all the stars, you were the one he looked toward at night. Never knowing that to him, you shone brighter than the rest. Even if there was an overabundance of bigger or brighter stars, you were always the one his eyes fell to.

I bet if you didn’t spend time comparing your qualities to the others, you would have felt his eyes always locked on you.

I later learned there is nothing wrong with being the student who raises your hand with a question instead of the answer.

Your wandering soul needs to find a home within yourself. Take time to rest and glide.

Every day you get the chance to work on being the version of yourself that you would be excited to meet for coffee.

I used to hold grudges like a child clinging to their mother on the first day of kindergarten. I couldn’t let them go. The things people said to me were stored in individual files in my brain marked with their name. The things I hate file bigger than the things I love. People piling up like scattered notes on a desk. The grudges I held becoming a dark mess. I started organizing my thoughts. Filtering out the bad and pouring in the good. I learned that I just needed to forgive and move on. Even if the people who caused my negative thoughts never know, I no longer have a grudge against them, because I had made forgiveness my home.

Read a book, shop online, or take a long bath with candles lit. Taking time for you is healthy. Your mind needs a break from the hustle of your busy life. Don’t feel bad for taking moments to yourself.

Spending a day away from kids or peers. Spend a day alone with only your thoughts.

She is now who she always envisioned being. The person in the reflection of bodies of water and mirrors on the walls are no longer unrecognizable. She looks just as she feels. Her soul illuminates through her skin. The hate she once embodied has overgrown to love. Like a garden never weeded, she is the flower budding from the ground. She is the grass that turned from singed brown to soft green. She is the spring right after winter.

Negativity is a chain reaction virus that only ends in devastation.

I don’t hate you, though. Because, hate is a feeling and I feel nothing for you.