How the Hell Did This Happen?: The Election of 2016

by P.J. O'Rourke

“Americans have a one-party system, and, just like Americans, they have two of them.”

Consistency is not a hallmark of American politics, but exceptions are made when the constant is stupidity.

My grandmother was born in the nineteenth century near Springfield, Illinois, where the only Democrat anybody had ever heard of was John Wilkes Booth.

Also, at least the CIA and NSA tell Hillary secrets. Would you tell a secret to Donald Trump?

To avoid messy mushroom-shaped incidents, better lock the thing in a safe. Set the combination to “411.” He’ll never think of that. Donald hates information.