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An arm slipped around her waist, pulling her backward into a warm body. “Did you miss me?” Shiro purred in her ear.
What if, when his memories returned, he forgot her? If that happened, then she would just have to accept it. His memories were more important. Besides, if he forgot her, then he wouldn’t miss her once she was gone. An ache grew in her chest.
“What about death is to be feared? The burdens of life can be so great that it would be a comfort to know that someday it will end … that someday, we will have earned the final rest.”
As the flames died, vanishing almost as quickly as they had appeared, Shiro wrapped his other arm around her, pulling her back into him. He pressed his face into her hair, holding her tightly with one arm around her middle and one across the top of her chest. As her head spun with too many thoughts and feelings, she realized she could feel him trembling.
“Shiro!” She patted his face helplessly. “Shiro, breathe!” Susano approached from behind her. He looked down at Shiro, then lifted one foot and stomped on Shiro’s chest. Shiro gasped, his eyes flying open, then he convulsed in a violent coughing fit.
Maybe she should have told him and the others what she was planning to do, but she’d been afraid. She’d been afraid that if she had told Shiro she knew how to free him from the onenju, he wouldn’t have tried to stop her. He wouldn’t have cared enough to stop her. And she would rather leave this life cherishing her memories of him and knowing Amaterasu would save him than leave this life with a shattered heart.
You are broken, Inari. I did not think a Kunitsukami could break, but you have. And I do not know if your memories will be enough to make you whole again.”
Assuming they all survived the coming battle, she would do whatever it took to make Shiro whole again.
“You are more than a body, Emi. You are more than a vessel for someone else’s will and power.” “But I’m the kamigakari.” She shifted her weight, resisting the urge to look away. “It’s my duty—” “To die? To put my life ahead of your own?” His jaw flexed. “Amaterasu may be willing to let you die for her, but I’m not. Don’t you dare choose my survival over yours again.”
Inari wouldn’t love her. But Shiro did. Her heart stuttered. That’s what he was saying without actually speaking the words. That’s what he meant when he said losing her was his greatest fear. How had she come to mean so much to him in so little time? How could he love her, a mortal girl whose only accomplishment was being a kami’s host, when he was so much more?
Eventually, his memories would return, and with them, Inari’s eternal solitude. Knowing that, how could she turn away from him? Even if she had the strength to choose her purity over him, how could she deny him his only chance to experience something different?
This might be his only chance to love—and it was most definitely her only chance before her time in this world was over.
An immortal who had never been able to love—until now.