Calm: Educate Yourself in the Art of Remaining Calm, and Learn how to Defend Yourself from Panic and Fury

by The School of Life

We should make a list of their most annoying tendencies and ask oneself in each case: what good thing is this painful trait connected to? There will be some for sure.

Our panic has a fatal way of undermining our capacity to deal with the underlying, real problems. Being calmer doesn’t at all mean that we think everything can be fine; it just means we are in a better state of mind

Secret fragility – the cracks that have been accumulating over days, weeks and years – explains our occasionally extraordinary outbursts that can be so puzzling to onlookers.

This move – the accurate, corrective, reimagining of the inner lives of others – is relevant far outside the realm of literary fiction. It’s a piece of empathetic reflection we constantly need to perform with ourselves and with others. We need to imagine the turmoil, disappointment, worry and sadness in people who may outwardly appear merely aggressive. We need to aim compassion in an unexpected place: at those who annoy us most.

A calm life isn’t one that’s always perfectly serene. It is one where we are committed to calming down more readily, and where we strive for more realistic expectations; where we can understand better why certain problems are occurring, and we can be more adept at finding a consoling perspective. The progress is painfully limited and imperfect – but it is genuine.