Black Swan Affair

by K.L. Kreig

Because we’re humans, we try to invent explanations for an occurrence that doesn’t necessarily have one, so it makes sense to our small brains. We try to use that event and those explanations to predict future events like it. To learn from them. Deal with them better, maybe. Stop them from happening again, I suppose.

There is no simplifying the complex. Some things happen simply because they happen. And in the end knowing why doesn’t change a damn thing anyway. The damage is already done.

She doesn’t know it yet but she’s mine and I protect what’s mine.

So I do the only thing I can—the same thing I’ve done my whole with life with this reckless, fly-by-the-seat-of-her-pants, infuriating girl. My girl.

It’s time I try with the man who’s currently looking at me as if I’m the single match that lights his entire world.

“When life hands you lemons, you don’t make lemonade. That’s for pantywaisters. No. You pucker up, suck them dry, then throw the used rinds back in life’s face with a giant fuck-you and a gesture for more.”

“It’s the way I’ve imagined you looking at me my entire life, Maverick.”

No one will love you like I do, Swan. Your soul belongs to me. Everything you need is here, staring right at you. If you’re not ready, I understand. But know that I’ll be waiting. I’ll wait as long as it takes. As long as you need. But if you are…then put me out of my misery and be my wife. I promise you won’t regret a single second of our life together.”

I do believe I’m actually falling in love with my husband, slowly but surely.

And when he opens his hooded eyes, pinning me with a sated, wicked, joyful grin that tells me wordlessly I’m his everything, I see an entirely different man. One I’ve always known but never let in all the way. One who gives me all of him while I hold back. One I can’t bear the thought of losing. Ever. He’s the one who has always walked beside me. Selflessly. Silently. Steadfastly. Without exception. Without expectations.

He gave me what I had no right to ask of him. He gave it freely. And I love him so damn much for it.

As Kael draws back, cups my face, and lowers his mouth to mine, I see everything he wants me to see. Understanding. Devotion. Forgiveness. Us: Forever. The way it’s always been.

“I want kids. I wanted to wait and just enjoy being husband and wife for a while but I’ve waited a lifetime for you, Mavs. I have this burning inside me to see your belly grow big with our baby, knowing together we created a life that’s part you, part me, forever us.”

“Because I have enough love for the both of us. I always have.”

“You just want me to be happy,” I finish for him when he trails off. “Yes,” he chokes. “No matter what?” “No matter what, Swan.” I’m silently sobbing as he continues, “Follow your heart, and if that leads you back to me, know that I will spend every one of my days smothering you with love, but if it leads to Killian…” He pauses to take a deep breath. “If it leads to him, then I know he will do the same.”

But as I stare off into the distance, my heart’s racing faster. She’s known the answer all along. His presence has always surrounded me, even when I didn’t think it did.

“I thought Killian’s love defined me, but your love changed me forever. I’m so sorry it took me so long to figure that out.”