Black Swan Affair

by K.L. Kreig

To everyone who has loved and lost then loved again. It’s there.

You just need to be open to it.

Some things happen simply because they happen. And in the end knowing why doesn’t change a damn thing anyway. The damage is already done.

I’m anything but innocent. My soul is lost. My heart cold. I’m a devil in angel’s skin, trapping a man for life who could have any woman he wants but for some reason wants me.

“If you didn’t think you could fall in love with Kael, you shouldn’t have married him. If you don’t think you have that ability now, you should do the right thing and end this before you do any more damage.”

“I may be completely out of line saying this, but anyone who marries that woman can’t be worthy of you.”

You deserved the courtesy of not only some advance fucking notice, but an explanation.

“When life hands you lemons, you don’t make lemonade. That’s for pantywaisters. No. You pucker up, suck them dry, then throw the used rinds back in life’s face with a giant fuck-you and a gesture for more.”

I’ll do it for me, but mostly, I’ll do it for my new husband. Kael deserves all of me—not half a woman.

“It’s the way I’ve imagined you looking at me my entire life, Maverick.”

“An inch is an inch, Maverick. As long as it’s forward it’s movement in the right direction.”

How can you love someone so much yet hate them with equal passion at the same time?

Black-hearted sinner. That’s me.

I couldn’t have the man I really wanted and here was a man who genuinely wanted me.

Now, it’s just too late. I’ve accepted it. He needs to do the same.

As Kael draws back, cups my face, and lowers his mouth to mine, I see everything he wants me to see. Understanding. Devotion. Forgiveness. Us: Forever. The way it’s always been. With his lips melded to mine, there is little doubt in my mind what’s beating wildly in the center of my chest. In the depth of my belly. I am falling for my husband.

The rest of me is almost apathetic, finally accepting that future was never really ours for the taking.

“Go. Please. And don’t do this again. I can’t do this anymore. If I am your real, as you claim I am, then you will let me go.”

“I want to kiss these fucking lips, Maverick. And not a kiss of a boy who has been friends with a girl for almost thirty years. But as a lover. I want to bite and suck and own and devour. Whenever I want. However I want.”

“I like to think we all end up in the place we’re supposed to be eventually,” Sheila answers wistfully. “The sum total of our choices carries us to our destiny.”

I can’t. I can’t do this to Kael after everything he’s done for me. It’s not fair. To him. To me. To any of us. I’m breaking away when I feel the heaviness of my

husband’s stare push me into the cushions.

I wish she would have shown her love for him in life as much as she has in death.

“While he was the sun that lit your world, you were the darkness that shadowed mine.”

“Why anything? Why are you here with me? Why do you want me? Why did you marry me?” Please explain it to me, because I just don’t get it. I don’t deserve it. I never have. He simply shakes his head as if I’m the densest person on the planet. “Because I have enough love for the both of us. I always have.”

It’s fucking poison. It will slowly strangle you and you won’t even know it because you can’t see it and you can’t smell it and you can’t taste it until it’s too late.”

“And this last year I also realized there are different kinds of love. There’s the dreamy kind you always thought you wanted and then there’s the steady one you never understood but the second you let yourself feel it…it’s nothing like you could have imagined in your wildest dreams.”

“I thought Killian’s love defined me, but your love changed me forever. I’m so sorry it took me so long to figure that out.”

He’s a bigger man than I could have ever been in this situation. No fucking way could I have called with my congrats.

“I followed my heart and it led me back to you.”