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September 18, 2019
One aspect of God’s salvation is a renewed sense of healthy shame.
Despising shame means ignoring its threats. We shame shame as a despicable outsider with no place in our life. According to Hebrews 12:2, Jesus shamed shame. He had the boldness to disregard shame because it was ultimately inconsequential in God’s plans.
The cross of Christ is not only the content of the gospel but also the christological pattern for Christian mission.
Wow!
Dying daily, both physically and socially, proclaims God’s resurrection life in this age.
Our view of shame reflects the gospel we believe. God’s transformation of shame into glory is an undismissible linchpin of Christian spirituality and mission.
The contrasting image is a person who, in the words of Frederick Herzog, “seeks security in external things . . . [and] has built a wall between his true self and the pseudoself he displays.”15 Wearing masks and presenting a pseudoself means one is not in open relationship with others. It is a counterfeit community of one pseudoself talking to another pseudoself.
Peace is a deep disposition of the heart. It is humility, an ability to let go of the need to be right in our own eyes or the eyes of others, an ability based on the knowledge that our rightness or wrongness in any issue is totally irrelevant to God’s love for us or for our neighbor. The peace that comes with claiming our self in God is the foundation of our ability to carry God’s reconciling love to others in the most humble places and humble everyday ways.
The flip side of Bondi’s words is that if people are not secure in God’s love then their alienation from God will lead them to live in ways that hurt others.
Alienation leads other people to be very “good” and perform tremendous acts of charity and service to neighbors. But if these good deeds flow from a person’s insecurity as a way to be noticed or gain approval, than the action itself will be tainted.
As we each experience God’s saving love, we are honorably included in the people of God. In the security of this relationship we have the freedom to drop our masks and live as the vulnerable, finite humans that we are.
not giving to avoid dependency or paternalism (the Western logic) can be interpreted as “no gift means no relationship” (the honor-shame logic).
The reality is that people encounter the honor and glory of God through relationships with believers. Honoring relationships are at the heart of the gospel.
Instead of directly addressing the issue at hand, a cover reframes the problem to the person while addressing the issue.
1 using a cover.
When people sense their shame is being exposed, they naturally become resistant and defensive. Exposure spoils the relationship and accomplishes little, but using a cover can avoid conflict altogether.
There are many ways to resolve an issue without exposing the person to shame. Instead of asking someone, “Why are you late?” with an accusing tone of voice, simply ask, “Are you okay?”
People can reconcile damaged relationships with symbolic gestures that confer honor.
2 symbolic reconciliation.
Becoming a client may be another culturally relevant way to resolve a situation. This means creating a patron-client relationship, wherein you are the client requesting help from a patron. You deliberately put yourself under another person without whose help you would lose face. Becoming a client utilizes the social network and capital of your acquaintances to address a dilemma.
3 become a client
A patron relationship can be cultivated through thanks (as per the above story), or with a gift or direct appeal (as below).
A gift can position you as a client politely requesting assistance.
A verbal appeal positioned me as a client in need of his benefaction (and spared me from explaining the airport’s enigmatic policies to my mom). Asking for help to avoid embarrassment or shame invokes a patron-like obligation.
Importance of a verbal appeal
Over time I realized patronage simply uses honor as a form of payment instead of cash.
Becoming a client requires setting aside Western ideals of self-sufficiency and humbly depending on other people for help.
For instance, reciprocity is expected when hospitality is offered. That is one reason hospitality generally flows between people of similar status. A person of high status and means would not invite a poor person of low status to a meal, not only because the presence of a low-status person at the table would reflect poorly on the host, but also to avoid shaming the person. The invitation would put the low-status person in the awkward position of being obligated to reciprocate but being unable to do so.
If you choose to purposefully break the social rules to bear witness to kingdom values (approach three), it is important to explain your actions. If you purposefully do something “countercultural” to communicate kingdom values but do not verbally explain the action, then people will think you are a clueless foreigner (at best) or a disrespectful and shameful person.
One of the greatest sources of shame people face is not hosting well.
receiving honor as a guest is an important way to honor people.
When hosts are unable to provide for guests, they sense shame. Not receiving hospitality indicates the host has nothing of value to offer you and suggests they are socially inferior. A great way to honor others is to receive their honor.
4 guest well.
Being a good host does not mean demanding and hoarding honor, but facilitating the flow of honor in all directions. The goal is mutual honor. This involves thankfully receiving the host’s honor.
Flow of mutual honor.
A gift overcomes the dehumanizing commodification of anonymous transactions in our modern world. Gifts assert a person’s unique worth.
5 Gift giving.
A gift to a superior functions as a client’s thanks to a benefactor. If the recipient is a social equal, a gift reaffirms your common group membership and peer relationship. But giving a gift to a person unable to repay establishes you as a patron helping a client, and may even create an overwhelming sense of obligation to repay. In some instances it may be better to not give gifts because people are so calculated about keeping things balanced.
Years of financial requests created unbearable levels of stress and anxiety.
I could relate!
Patrons are expected to do many things: adjudicate community problems, lead conversations, initiate relationships, host large events, as well as pedestrian things like dressing respectfully and sitting at the correct seat at a meal.
Expectations of patrons.
Patronage means using the role of respected leader who blesses and benefits other people.
First, the return for the Philippians’ gift is not Paul’s clientage but the spiritual fruit God credits to their account.
Paul demonstrates how true patronage among Christians should be radically God centered. All benefactions begin with God’s provision and end with God’s glory.
Phillippians 4
Westerners must recognize the nonmaterial assets people do possess—wealth is not just financial in nature. If you find yourself to be the patron, ask the question—what could this person offer to others (or to the kingdom)? In the context of a relationship, this question dignifies by affirming the innate assets and abilities people do possess.
When you enter patron-client relationships by helping people materially, they become more open to your spiritual influence.
Kingdom kernel here.
Patronage creates access into people’s lives. This allows Christian patrons to instruct and mentor other believers.
Patronage should not be rejected as a deplorable system of dependence, but an acceptable model of interdependence (which, like all social systems, gets warped by sin).
Disregarding purity concerns risks shaming you and others, so is a significant area of consideration for our relationships.
6 be pure.
The point is not to behave like pompous royalty, but to carry yourself respectfully. It may also be prudent to abstain from “unclean foods,” as defined by the host culture.
Such “challenge-response” interactions highlight a feature of honor-shame cultures—communication is about face, not just facts. The goal is not to efficiently relay information or complete a task, but to procure status.
7 give face.
But simply avoiding all offense is not the ultimate goal of Christian ministry. The goal of our authentic relationships is not to give people any type of honor, but God’s true honor.
How can Christians proclaim God’s eternal honor as good news to people?
People very well may benefit from an articulation of the gospel in terms of guilt and innocence, but for many people, that does not reach to the deepest lostness and alienation they experience.
As Job said, “Even if I am innocent, I cannot lift my head, for I am full of shame” (Job 10:15 NIV).
Proclaiming biblical salvation in honor-shame terms is not over or against other gospel explanations but contributes to a fuller explanation of God’s multifaceted saving work.
though God’s Spirit is the ultimate agent causing spiritual regeneration in people, how Christians explain salvation does influence the evangelistic process.
Social honor is part of God’s common grace; eternal honor is God’s saving grace.
Status reversal and group incorporation are two central aspects of biblical salvation.
