Diary Of An Everyday Vampire: Volume 1

by Thérésa Hedges

So no, I don’t sparkle in the sunlight.

As it turned out, it wasn’t the Zombie Apocalypse after all. It was just a group of teenage girls greeting each other. Crisis averted. But it pays to be alert.

First sign of madness: talking to yourself. Second sign of madness: talking to yourself and laughing at your own jokes.

Third sign of madness: arguing with yourself. Fourth sign of madness: losing the argument.

Normally I’d spend the next half hour working out how I could have handled the situation better

(vampires are not exactly known for their social skills, and I am no exception).

While the brave amongst you are hitting the gym frantically (until the end of January, anyway),

True words

And for us, there was one film that brought us together as much as it divided opinion… You know the one. The one with the princesses and all the snow and ice. The one with THAT song. Seriously, is that song ever going to go away?

You can disagree with me all you like: it doesn’t make me wrong. Or you right.

I see no lie here.

One seat to rule them all; one seat reservation to find it.