Crazy Is My Superpower: How I Triumphed by Breaking Bones, Breaking Hearts, and Breaking the Rules

by A.J. Mendez Brooks

• Reject every guy who approaches you. Even if he was just going to ask for the time, reject him anyway. If he keeps trying, he must really like you. • Remember that a partner will only respect you as much as you respect yourself. • Don’t go looking for it. If Fate is real, tempt her by declaring you are willing to die a virgin and live comfortably in your asexual sweat suits. • Have a kick-ass career. It’ll be hard to give a shit about the other side of the bed being empty when it’s filled with stacks of cash, keeping you warm. How to Keep Love • Consistently knock your partner down a few notches. Not so far down they lose the confidence you first found attractive, but just far enough to remind them they will never do better than you. • Openly talk about poop. • In the Marry/Fuck/Kill game of life, be all three. • Be okay losing it. You are the prize that must be won. How to Know He’s the One • If he always holds your hand when you cross a street. • If he brings you coffee in bed every morning, because he knows without it, you are a monster. • If he leaves you sweet notes literally everywhere: under your pillow, in your books, in your luggage, sometimes between the bread of a sandwich. • If he always opens the car door for you. Manners are sexy as hell. • If he forgives you for that time you went jogging together and you pulled ahead and screamed, “Help! He’s chasing me!” • If he thinks you are the most beautiful with no makeup on and frizzy air-dried hair. • If he adopts...