The Comprehensive INFP Survival Guide

by Heidi Priebe

emotionally, whereas the INFP may assume the INTJ is trying to control their plans and actions. In reality, both types are often simply trying to help each other in a way that makes sense to them. How to make it work: INTJs respond well to honest, direct communication. If a problem arises, do not be passive aggressive. Rather, explain the problem as calmly and rationally as possible to the INTJ–they genuinely do want to resolve issues that arise and will probably be keen to listen. Make pointed, time-specific plans with the INTJ and try not to cancel or be late to them. To the INTJ, time is a measure of respect. Recognize that the INTJ’s desire to plan and organize your life is their way of trying to help you sort through problems. If you want them to listen rather than problem-solve, tell them this point blank. Give the INTJ time and patience to sort through their feelings–understand that they are not as readily available to him or her as yours are to you. Be open and direct about your needs within the relationship–they are important, but not always immediately recognizable to the INTJ.