And then one of them will make a great fuss about declining the pathetic little slice by announcing, “Only ’cause I haven’t had a bowel movement in four days!” Or conversely, “I’ve been sitting on the toilet all morning, I’ve got a bad case of the runs.” I DON’T NEED TO KNOW ANY OF THIS! Have a word with your doctor, or take yourself to the shit clinic (which exists, apparently), but do not come to me with your constipation or diarrhea stories while I’m sitting here trying to enjoy my sliver of cake, because it robs me of my appetite! The extraordinary lack of shame many old people seem to
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