Whispers and the Roars

by K. Webster

I was a fungus. Growing and festering. Turning his brilliant parts black with the disease otherwise known as me. When you’re a woman who suffers from depression and PTSD, among other disorders, you learn that you’re the problem. That you’re the source of nightmares. That you’re a black plague who only sickens the well around you.

Ouch

But sometimes the loneliest people are surrounded by noise.

Kady is more than a sight, she’s a force of nature. I want her to obliterate me.

All of the chaos that surrounds this broken woman is worth it if it means having moments like this.

She tastes like the best dessert, the sweetest tea, the most savory steak.

She tastes like ice cream and honey and cherries. Sweet and succulent and addicting.

Her giggles bounce off the water and no doubt enchant the fish swimming beneath the surface.

I run my fingers through the hair near her temples and massage the side of her head with my thumbs.

“Let me feed you, beautiful.”

So I went to school so I could help her. I studied every mental illness known to man but I especially studied hers.

“I want to give you more than everything,”

Gripping her hair, I tug it back so I can look into her blue eyes that flicker with sadness.

Our love is difficult but it’s ours and I wouldn’t change a thing about it.

Ever since the incident, he handles me as if I’m a porcelain figurine, like the ones his mother collects.

I want to drown in him. Death by Yeo. What a way to go…

“I love you at your best and I love you at your worst. I love every single part of you. I always have and always will. I even love the parts I hate about you. How fucking weird is that? And I’ll continue to love you in every capacity, no matter how strange that makes me. I’ll fill in the missing voids of your heart with parts of mine,”