Conversations with Friends

by Sally Rooney

And because Bobbi mostly treated men with amusement or contempt, men usually ended up liking me better too.

Soooo they arent lesbians ?

Frances is bisexual, you know.

Ohhhh theres my answer

me e-mail a 21 year old in the middle of the night? i don’t know what you’re talking about. i would never do that.

Okay pedo

My jaw started to feel stiff, and I noticed myself flinching at small noises.

Okay perfect so hes beating her great

had a sudden desire to harm myself.

WHAT

immediately forgot their names.

Me

kissed him.

Oh okay wow

While we undressed

Oh okay i didnt know we were at that point yet

That felt kind of okay,

lol

even wanted to harm her.

Serial killer vibes

often cried while it was happening.

Girl WHAT

she looked like it had played out just as she intended.

I hate this bitch wtf

That’s right, she said. Abandon me. Go have fun with your new friends in the supermarket. Maybe I’ll never come back, I said. Don’t, said Bobbi.

I am so confused. Are they actually yelling? Are they joking?

she kissed my lips.

WHAT IS GOING ON

I mumbled something defensive like: oh, we didn’t…you know, it wasn’t really…

girl no he is the problem

I pulled my sleeve over my hand to shut the door.

so is he dead? or missing?

k this might be dumb but who the fuck is philip

I love you, Nick.

uh oh

harder than she had ever touched me in my life before.

jesus fuck why is this bobbi bitch so intense and aggressive

he didn’t reply.

damn

sometimes I just feel. And Bobbi placed a finger over her lips and said: Frances. I’m watching.

BRUH THIS BITCH

Afterward he invited me back to his apartment and I let him unbutton my blouse. I thought: this is normal. This is a normal thing to do. He had a small, soft upper body, not at all like Nick, and he did none of the usual things that Nick did to me before we had sex, like touching me for a long time and talking in a low voice. It started right away, with no introduction really. Physically I felt almost nothing, just a mild discomfort. I let myself become rigid and silent, waiting for Rossa to notice my rigidity and stop what he was doing, but he didn’t. I considered asking him to stop, but the idea that he might ignore me felt more serious than the situation needed to be. Don’t get yourself into a big legal thing, I thought. I lay there and let him continue. He asked me if I liked it rough and I told him I didn’t think so, but he pulled my hair anyway. I wanted to laugh, and after that I hated myself for feeling superior.

this whole paragraph just made me sad

I want you to kill me, I thought.

WHAT GIRL

I want you to hit me.

What the actual fuck is going on???

Nick doesn’t want to leave me & I don’t want to leave him. We are going to keep living together & being married.

I do not understand this dumb ass couple

But just because I once slept with another woman at a literary festival & then several years later while Nick was in psychiatric hospital began an affair with his best friend, which continued even after I knew Nick had found out about it, my feelings don’t count.

HUH

I’ve become so used to seeing him as pathetic & even contemptible that I forgot anybody else could love him.

bitch WHAT

Once when they were drunk they even raced each other around the back garden.

wtf this bitch better not try to steal her man

I slept with one of my college lecturers, have I told you about that?

YA SO THATS ACTUALLY CRAZY

That’s how I lost my virginity.

PARDON ME????

you make me feel so good about myself.

um…

His mouth was extremely soft and close. I asked if he needed to come already and he inhaled for a second and then said: sorry, I’m sorry. I thought of his sinister desire to get me pregnant, how full and huge I would feel, how he would touch me so lovingly and with such pride, and then I heard that I was saying: no it’s good, I want it. It felt very weird and nice then, and he was telling me that he loved me, I remember that. He was murmuring it in my ear: I love you.

WHAAAAAAAT GIRL OH NO GOD

Bobbi kissed me.

WHAT???? how do they just do this unprompted

I feel like I should thank you for making me a tolerable person to live with.

this relationship is so fucked up

Melissa and I have started sleeping together again,

ohhhhhhh you mother fucker

I said there was nothing to talk about, and then we had sex.

bruh…what the fuck

Do you want me to leave her?

SAY YES RIGHT NOW

After he left the apartment I took a small nail scissors and cut a hole on the inside of my left thigh.

WHAT IS HAPPENING