As much as he loved Pamela, Churchill was shocked that she would think for a moment that he would abandon the war. “I read with particular attention your letter advising and urging me to come home,” he wrote to her. “But surely you would not imagine that it would be possible for me to leave the scene of war. … I should forfeit my self respect forever if I tried to shield myself like that behind an easily obtained reputation for courage. … I am really enjoying myself immensely and if I live I shall look back with much pleasure upon all this.”
