The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World

by Dalai Lama XIV

“Joy,” as the Archbishop said during the week, “is much bigger than happiness. While happiness is often seen as being dependent on external circumstances, joy is not.”

The first layer is the Dalai Lama’s and Archbishop Tutu’s teachings on joy:

The second layer is made up of the latest science on joy

The third layer of the birthday cake is the stories of being in Dharamsala

Suffering is inevitable, they said, but how we respond to

that suffering is our choice. Not even oppression or occupation can take away this freedom to choose our response.

“Discovering more joy does not, I’m sorry to say,” the Archbishop added, as we began our descent, “save us from the inevitability of hardship and heartbreak. In fact, we may cry more easily, but we will laugh more easily, too. Perhaps we are just more alive. Yet as we discover more joy, we can face suffering in a way that ennobles rather than embitters. We have hardship

without becoming hard. We have heartbreak without being broken.”

“What is the purpose of life? After much consideration, I believe that the purpose of life is to find happiness.

Most people never pay much attention to the ultimate source of a happy life, which is inside, not outside. Even the source of physical health is inside, not outside.

Joy subsumes happiness.

something can be done about the situation, what need is there for dejection? And if nothing can be done about it, what use is there for being dejected?”

He was not contrasting his situation with others, but uniting his situation with others, enlarging his identity and seeing that he and the Tibetan people were not alone in their suffering. This recognition that we are all connected—whether Tibetan Buddhists or Hui Muslims—is the birth of empathy and compassion.

That’s the main reason that I’m not sad and morose. There’s a Tibetan saying: ‘Wherever you have friends that’s your country, and wherever you receive love, that’s your home.’”

There are going to be frustrations in life. The question is not: How do I escape? It is: How can I use this as something positive?

the three factors that seem to have the greatest influence on increasing our happiness are our ability to reframe our situation more positively, our ability to experience gratitude, and our choice to be kind and generous.

first is “our ability to maintain positive states.” It makes sense that

second circuit is responsible for “our ability to recover from negative states.”

third circuit, also independent but essential to the others, is “our ability to focus and avoid mind-wandering.”

fourth and final circuit is “our ability to be generous.”

But in a surprising way, what the Archbishop and the Dalai Lama were saying is that the way we heal our own pain is actually by turning to the pain of others. It is a virtuous cycle. The more we turn toward others, the more joy we experience, and the more joy we experience, the more we can bring joy to others.

compassion is a feature of strength, not weakness, a point they would make throughout our conversations.

have tried to make people aware that the ultimate source of happiness is simply a healthy body and a warm heart.”

We cannot control the inevitability of these occurrences, but both men agreed that we could influence their effect in our life by adjusting the attitude we take toward them.

You are made for perfection, but you are not yet perfect. You are a masterpiece in the making.”

The English word courage comes from the French word coeur, or heart; courage is indeed the triumph of our heart’s love and commitment over our mind’s reasonable murmurings to keep us safe.

Underlying this anger, the Dalai Lama was saying, is a fear that we will not get what we need, that we are not loved, that we are not respected, that we will not be included.

“Righteous anger is usually not about oneself. It is about those whom one sees being harmed and whom one wants to help.” In short, righteous anger is a tool of justice, a scythe of compassion, more than a reactive emotion.

The Dalai Lama was describing the Buddhist concept of mudita, which is often translated as “sympathetic joy” and described

Buddhism that it is considered one of the Four Immeasurables, qualities we can cultivate infinitely. The other three are loving-kindness, compassion, and equanimity.

eight pillars of joy. Four were qualities of the mind: perspective, humility, humor, and acceptance. Four were qualities of the heart: forgiveness, gratitude, compassion, and generosity.

compassion and generosity,

but true arrogance really comes from insecurity.

“Sometimes we confuse humility with timidity,” the Archbishop explained. “This gives little glory to the one who has given us our gifts. Humility is the recognition that your gifts are from God, and this lets you

“Why be unhappy about something if it can be remedied? And what is the use of being unhappy if it cannot be remedied?”

Gratitude is the recognition of all that holds us in the web of life and all that has made it possible to have the life that we have and the moment that we are experiencing.

means moving from counting your burdens to counting your blessings, as the Archbishop had recommended, both as an antidote to envy and a recipe for appreciating our own lives.

When you are grateful, you act out of a sense of enough and not out of a sense of scarcity, and you are willing to share.

In short, bringing joy to others is the fastest way to experience joy oneself.

When we practice a generosity of spirit, we are in many ways practicing all the other pillars of joy.

“it is clear that the only way to truly change our world is through teaching compassion.

That’s the goal of human life—to live with joy and purpose.”