The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World

by Dalai Lama XIV

“The ultimate source of happiness is within us. Not money, not power, not status. Some of my friends are billionaires, but they are very unhappy people. Power and money fail to bring inner peace.

Outward attainment will not bring real inner joyfulness. We must look inside.

“Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional.”

There’s a Tibetan saying: ‘Wherever you have friends that’s your country, and wherever you receive love, that’s your home.’”

“So I always say to people, you have to pay more attention to the mental level of joy and happiness. Not just physical pleasure, but satisfaction at the level of mind. This is true joyfulness. When you are joyful and happy at the mental level, physical pain doesn’t matter very much.

“In fact, survey after survey has shown that it is unhappy people who tend to be most self-focused and are socially withdrawn, brooding, and even antagonistic. Happy people, in contrast, are generally found to be more sociable, flexible, and creative, and are able to tolerate life’s daily frustrations more easily than unhappy people. And, most important, they are found to be more loving and forgiving than unhappy people.”

Genuine friendship is entirely based on trust,”

the Dalai Lama explained. “If you really feel a sense of concern for the well-being of others, then trust will come.

“you develop some sort of unhappiness, some discontent, which leads to frustration and anger.”

“Stress and anxiety often come from too much expectation and too much ambition,”

“Then when we don’t fulfill that expectation or achieve that ambition, we experience frustration.

“Now medical scientists say,” the Dalai Lama continued, “that constant fear, constant anger, constant hatred harms our immune system.