The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World

by Dalai Lama XIV

to have the greatest influence on increasing our happiness are our ability to reframe our situation more positively, our ability to experience gratitude, and our choice to be kind and generous.

There are four independent brain circuits that influence our lasting well-being, Davidson explained.

Archbishop poetically phrased it, “to be a reservoir of joy, an oasis of peace, a pool of serenity that can ripple out to all those around you.” As

So then I set my intention for the day: that this day should be meaningful. Meaningful

So formality is just artificial. It just creates additional barriers.

if your mental health is sound, then when disturbances come, you will have some distress but quickly recover.

Like the ocean has many waves on the surface but deep down it is quite calm. This is possible if we know how to develop mental

The first Noble Truth of Buddhism is that life is filled with suffering. The Sanskrit word for suffering is dukkha (not to be confused with the nutty and very tasty

Our mind is the axle that often determines whether we experience the ride as bumpy or smooth. This point was brought home

strength during moments of crisis, our humanity is defined

equally, or perhaps even more, by our weakness and vulnerability, a fact that the Archbishop often says reminds us of our need

“Our opportunities are so much greater now, but so, too, are our anxieties.”

But unrealistic effort only brings disaster.

The Dalai Lama was urging us to be more realistic so we can come to some sense of inner peace now, rather than always chasing after

When we turn a threat into a challenge, our body responds very differently.

to develop stress resilience.

“I always try to relate

to the person on the basic human

He reacted with the inevitable and uncontrollable surprise, which is one of our instinctual responses, but then instead of taking the low road of anger, he took the high road of humor, acceptance, and even compassion. And it was gone: no fuming, no lingering frustration, no raised blood pressure.

Frustration brings anger.

When anger develops, think, what is the cause? And then also think, what will be the result of my anger, my angry face, or my shouting? Then you will realize that anger is not helpful.”

If we can have compassion for ourselves,

and acknowledge how we feel afraid, hurt, or threatened, we

can have compassion for others—possibly even for those who ha...

anger. When people impugn your intentions, and you know that you have noble intentions. It’s really quite painful. You grind your teeth and you say, there they go

anger must have a place, I

thought. Sometimes it serves a role in protecting us or others from hurt or harm.

“Righteous anger is usually not about

It is about those whom one sees being harmed and whom one wants to help.”

A healthy mind is a calm mind. Fear

While the evolutionary value of our fight (anger) and flight (fear) responses are clear, the value of sadness seems harder to understand. New studies conducted by psychology

Neither advocate the kind of fleeting happiness, often called hedonic happiness, that requires only positive states and banishes feelings like sadness to emotional exile.

eudemonic happiness and is characterized by self-understanding, meaning, growth, and acceptance, including life’s inevitable suffering, sadness, and grief.

“The way through the sadness and grief that comes from great loss is to use it as motivation and to generate a deeper sense of purpose.

“You show your humanity,” the Archbishop began, “by how you see yourself not as apart from others but from your connection to others.

We are growing and learning how to be compassionate, how to be caring, how to be human.”

tonglen, literally meaning ‘giving and taking.’ I tried to take on their fear, anger, suspicion, and to give them my love, my forgiveness.

Hope is deeper and very, very close to unshakable. It’s in the pit of your tummy.

We can feel joy when we are alone but not when we are lonely.

“The only thing that will bring happiness is affection and warmheartedness.

“The paradox is that although the drive behind excessive self-focus is to seek greater happiness for yourself, it ends up doing exactly the opposite.

“Envy toward the above, competitiveness toward the equal, and contempt toward the lower.”

Envy doesn’t leave room for joy.

Buddhism sees envy as so corrosive that it compares it to a venomous snake that poisons us. In

The Archbishop then went on to offer a powerful remedy for envy: gratitude.

final and most effective remedy: reframing.

is important to cultivate any emotion that brings joyfulness and peace of mind.

When we focus on experience or knowledge, there is much less envy.

mudita, which is often translated as “sympathetic

joy”