The Idiot

by Elif Batuman

It was true that I wanted to be unconventional and say meaningful things. At the same time, I felt very strongly that the problem was bigger than that. Something basic about language had started to escape me.

you, too, are hiding behind the computer. This is perfectly understandable. Human beings, all of us, hate to take risks. We all want to hide. And thanks to this e-mail”—he said it like it was a word I had made up—“thanks to this e-mail, you can have a completely idealized relationship. You risk nothing.

but wasn’t that itself the miracle—that love really was an obscure and unfathomable connection between individuals, and not an economic contest where everyone was matched up according to how quantifiably lovable they were?

nineteen still felt old and somehow alien to who I was. It occurred to me that it might take more than a year—maybe as many as seven years—to learn to feel nineteen.