The Idiot

by Elif Batuman

Never in my life had I seen such a boring movie. I chewed nine consecutive sticks of gum, to remind myself I was still alive.

this is so funny, i miss Selin!

Light from even a nearby star was four years old by the time it reached your eyes. Where would I be in four years? Simple: where you are. In four years I’ll have reached you.

In the evening, Svetlana showed me how to play squash. I had never been in a squash court before.

LOL throw back to when i played squash for two weeks also freshman year of college

We could walk and walk, and talk only if something comes up.

I almost stopped in New Jersey. I thought, Maybe I’ll see what’s going on with this place.

“Hello, Reni,” I said. “Hello,” said Reni. “Zoltán, this is Reni. Reni, this is Zoltán.” “Hello,” said Reni. “Hello,” said Zoltán. “Laci,” said the boyfriend. “Zoltán,” said Zoltán. We stood a moment in silence. “Hello,” Reni said finally. “Hello,” said Zoltán. “Hello,” said Laci. “Hello,” said Reni. “Hello,” I said.

i miss this universe

It occurred to me that it might take more than a year—maybe as many as seven years—to learn to feel nineteen.