A Beautiful Mess

by Pyrokardia

But if I’m the stormy sea Yours is the cliff I always want to crash into

I've been broken Too many times I've lost count It's my default now

Safe behind these walls My cracks fixed, gates sealed up Alone, but I'm happy And that’s all I ever needed

Today I admit to myself That I do miss you Not what we had But the fantasy Of what I imagined We could have had Causing me throbs From six feet within my heart Where it now lies

I was but a mirror A magic mirror on your wall There to boost your ego An outlet for your temper Broken into pieces Over and over again But still, I gave you everything Reflecting to you Only the best I had in me

I stand in front of the mirror Trying to see my reflection But all I see is you The pieces of me I changed for you Trying to make you stay But you never did

And when it burns It burns away every piece of you Leaving you nothing But an empty hollow shell

I survived your love Your love didn't break me It is the hope you gave me That destroyed me

I keep on writing Digging into my soul Trying to get in deep enough To find the right words

Your lies poison the air Your hurtful words choking me up In your mind You think you're winning When all you're really doing Is reteaching my heart How to survive on oxygen Instead of you

Do you remember our first kiss? And how we promised each other That what we had will last forever No matter the adverse weather I don't remember our last kiss It was nothing special I guess Just another thing I don't miss We never had another like our first

Do I wonder about you? About how life could have been If you had stayed with me Yes, I do I spend so much time wondering I have no time left to build another life

I poured everything I've got into you And I got nothing back Until I was empty and drained Of all feelings for you Cause you didn't refill me Cause you gave nothing back Now, there's nothing left to give So I’ll take my leave

Be mine Don’t be like the moon Hanging all alone in the dark night sky Be mine Shine just for me And I’ll adorn you with the stars

They say loving is a risk Is it a risk worth taking? The heartbreaks and the pain The games and the betrayals And what if your love is unrequited Can you deal with the loneliness? Of seeing your loved one with another I wonder if you're strong enough To keep breathing if your heart breaks Or are you going to melt into a puddle of your tears Love is a risk With stakes too high for me Take your love and find another player I'll rather live my life in peace Without love's chaos

Each time I look at you My heart breaks all over again For what we have lost For what I have lost

Loving you is a choice I made within me To endure the pain The games and the lies That I never wanted

I will fight the world for our love I will not fight you to love me

Since I met you You made me want to believe In fairytales And happily ever after Since I touched you You created a spark in me From the dying embers Of my broken heart and soul Since I've known you You made me feel special Within myself Notwithstanding my faults and lacks Since I've kissed you You've repaired my soul From its fragments Piecing together to make me whole

All things come to an end The good The bad The ugly The beautiful The pains you thought would be the end of you The love you wished would last forever They are all but passing phases Running around in circles With no end Nothing comes to an end They only change

Love and war Love and death They seem unrelated But every relationship Feels like a war And I die a little bit Every time my heart breaks

I always needed you I always loved you You never wanted me You never loved me I got broken You stayed whole