Fly on the Wall

by E. Lockhart

I haven’t hugged him in so long.

This still gets me every time. How we stop hugging our parents when we grow older...

My father has got some chain-smoking chippie on the side and he’s leaving our family so he can cavort around town lighting her cigarettes for her.

The whole sentence plus the word cavort killed it for me 😂

The white realtor lady asks if I’m adopted—like that’s some legitimate, socially appropriate question to ask—and is halfway through a gushy story about her friend’s new baby from Korea when I say, “Haven’t you ever heard of interracial marriage? It’s all the rage in civilized countries,” and she shuts up and purses her lips.

I’m gonna save this one for myself 😂

Do men really look like this?

Her whole train of thought is hilarious 😆

What did he mean,

Teen mind blabbering is always funny to read - I don’t remember much from my teen years (prob repressed too mucus 😆), so it’s not like I can relate exactly but I still do this overthinking gig sometimes (I think we all do anyway) and the author just writes it brilliantly 👌🏼

I love that idea, Kensington. And if you’d only look at it, it’s more interesting than a guitar or a box of chocolates.

Wow that was deep...

“Just tell me,” sighs Katya.

This whole back and forth sums up the hardship of friendships sometimes haha Like, how can you not know? But yeah that’s real life right there and not your stupid movie cliche that wants you believing friends always know what’s in each other’s mind 😉

part two life as a vermin

These chapter titles crack me up they’re so good 😊

Where did I get extra legs? They itch. I’ll rub them together.

Oh, this made me laugh out loud hard

So: what should my name be?

Ensues hilarious self debate 😂

It’s funny, I had no idea I was this kind of person. I mean, I thought I was all for romance, and that I wanted secret love notes and hand-holding, and good-night kisses on the street corner by my apartment, under an awning on a rainy night. And I do want all those things. It’s not like I’ve stopped wanting them. It’s just that now I’ve got urges. Like I can’t stop thinking about it. Like I know what a guy means when he says he’s got a one-track mind.

Haha! It’s ok, Gretchen, you can actually be in and want both worlds 😉

Only jocks have the A-minus kind—of which there are very few at Ma-Ha, since everyone’s an artiste. But the few guys who are muscled and built have these vulnerable little booties. It’s touching. Like the rest of the body is macho macho, and then there’s this soft squishy butt that says, “Hey, I’m a person like anyone else.”

Dying here 😂

But that’s a little far-fetched, isn’t it?

This whole efabulation is far too hilarious

I will never save the world. And I will never be a superhero. But I could do something to make at least two people happier than they are right now, if only I were Gretchen Yee, back in my life where I belong.

And that’s all it takes, girl. See ya on the other side.