Barbarian's Taming (Ice Planet Barbarians, #8)

by Ruby Dixon

Sitting here in a cave at a party for my sister, surrounded by aliens, I feel like I’m reliving my high school years all over again. It’s pretty garbage, I have to admit. I wasn’t popular then, being fat and opinionated. These aliens don’t care if I’m fat or if I have a big mouth, and yet I’m still on the outskirts. It’s weird.

Everyone’s so damn happy. Everyone but me.

In the space of the last month or so, my world has been upended. I went to sleep one night and woke up in the arms of blue space aliens on a frozen planet.

I’ve always felt the need to protect her and care for her. But here? We’ve been separated and she’s been thriving. Lila is usually the lonely, lost one and I’m the bold, outgoing one. I have to be because that’s how you Get Shit Done.

She’s happy here despite all the snow and ice and man-eating creatures and lack of toilets. She wants to stay (not that we have a choice). And me? I’m just kind of here. Alone.

Everyone in the tribe adores her and they can barely tolerate me. I’m like a stinky fart that’s lingering in the cave and everyone tries to ignore.

I was frantic with worry about her after she was stolen, and when they wouldn’t let me go after her? I was kind of not nice about it. Okay, I was a bit of an ass. Well, more than just a bit. But I was worried about seemingly fragile Lila on this hostile, cold planet. So I took it out on everyone else. I might have picked a few fights and dragged my feet and okay, I threw a few things at people’s heads. So what? Anyone else would have done the same if they were in my shoes, uncertain about the fate of their baby sister.

They don’t understand what it’s like to be so alone, even in a sea of people.

That leaves me…well, it leaves me sitting here by myself on a mat, mopping up someone else’s spilled drink.

Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I just upped and left. Would they hunt me down like they hunted for Lila? Or would they be all “good riddance” and not care because I’ve been a bitch? I scowl into the shadows of the cave’s entrance. It would be so easy to get up and just walk out while everyone’s drunk and partying. But even as I stare, glowing blue eyes blink back at me, and a big, bulky form emerges from the shadows of the cave entrance, spear in one hand, a dead animal in the other. It’s a hunter, returning from a late-night jaunt out into the snow. And not just any hunter. It’s Hassen. The bastard that stole my sister. The one that decided he wanted a mate so much he’d just up and fucking steal her. Him? He can kiss my fat ass.

I’m a little jealous of her radiant happiness, sure, but still thrilled for her.

I’m just a selfish jerk of a sister who doesn’t know what to do with herself when she’s not needed anymore and suddenly finds herself with no friends. Funny how I always thought I didn’t need friends. Funny how being stranded on an ice planet can totally change your perspective on things like that.

The last thing I need is to get involved with the bad boy of the ice planet.

I am exiled. I am nothing to my people now. I did not think I would care, but…I do. Their scorn hurts me.

I wonder what it would be like to have the tribe celebrating my resonance. To hold my mate close and bring her to my cave, and together our breasts would sing until our kit was created.

My gladness filled me with even more shame. Should I not be sad that Li-lah is someone else’s? Should I not be jealous of Rokan? But…I am not. I am glad for him, even as I ache with loneliness.

I snort to myself at the thought. Sometimes I wish it had been her I had stolen instead of cowardly Li-lah. Mah-dee does not cringe and weep. She throws things when she is upset, and bellows at all that stand near. She attacked me the last time she saw me. She is fierce. Now that is a female.

Does she think her distaste for me will make me scurry away like a diseased metlak?

Could this be the case with Mah-dee? Is she attracted to me?

It sounds like a couples retreat. No wonder I’m not invited. I’m fat, out of shape, and a total fifth wheel.

Clearly Stacy takes my sarcasm for truth. Which it is…but just a wee bit exaggerated.

No one wants me here. I’m not useful. I’m not even pleasant to be around. I’m not making babies. Oh, and I’m fat, which means I eat more, and there’s talk about food shortages in the winter months, which makes me anxious. At what point do they start giving me the stink eye because I’m chubby and like my food? Of course, Lila won’t let them be mean to me, and then I’m even more depressed because I’m the one who should be protecting Lila, not the other way around.

“Do you not have somewhere else to go?” Asha snaps at me. “God, I wish.” I shake my head and polish off the last of my cake before picking hers up. “This is where we come to be depressed, right? So I thought I’d join you in your wallowing.” She hugs the clothing—it looks like a man’s tunic—to her chest and frowns at me.

“What are you depressed about?” My nose runs with every bite, but I devour her cake anyhow. “Oh, any number of things. But if you’re talking about today, my sister’s going on a field trip with her new hubby and I’m too fat and out of shape to go.”

Loneliness washes over me like a wave, and I suddenly feel as tired and beat-down by the world as Asha looks. I crawl into my bed and lie on my belly, staring at nothing.

I’m flailing without my sister. Who am I if I’m not Lila’s protector? All of who I was back on Earth has been stripped away, and while Lila was gone, I clung to her presence as an anchor. I told myself that when Lila got back, things would be better. We’d find our way together. Except Lila got back and she no longer needed me.

“So you’re basically telling me I need a hobby and that you already have the market cornered on ‘moping’ and I need to find something else.” “Something of that nature.” Her voice is dull, tired. “Find something to amuse you.”

Hunting. I’m intrigued. I imagine myself with a bow and arrow, like Liz. She’s a badass. I’d like to be a badass, too. “You know what? I think you might be right, Asha.”

Now I am nothing. A bitter fool who must hunt endlessly for fires he is not welcome at. I try not to let it eat at my gut, but I cannot help it. The tribe was all I had, and now I have nothing.

How can one small human find so much trouble so quickly? I speed up, drawing my knives.

“What? How?” There is no one protecting her? Her brows go down and she gives me an incredulous look. “I put one foot in front of the other and walked out?” “And no one was there to stop you?” “Last I checked, it was a tribe, not a prison. And I don’t know if you noticed, but people are a little busy lately. No one’s got time to hang out with a bored human.” She says it in a casual voice, but there is a tension on her round, funny-looking human face.

“Never mind.” She sighs. “Probably wasting my breath trying to explain to you how I feel.” “But it is acceptable to waste my time and endanger yourself by trying to hunt?” I give her a curious look. “Is this a human thing I do not understand? Do you enjoy endangering yourself?”

I am surprised…and honored that she has chosen me as a pleasure-mate. “You wish me to fuck you? I accept.”

His confusing words jerk me right back to reality. “Wait, no, I was telling you to fuck off, not that I want to fuck.” He tilts his head, and it’s clear to me that he doesn’t understand the distinction. Heck, with every moment he touches me, I’m starting to lose track of the distinction, too. He’s all muscly and sexy and warm and gosh, it really has been a while since I’ve had sex. Actually, it’s been a while since someone has touched me at all. I’ve been so isolated and alone out here, and Lila’s occupied with her new man and I’ve felt…discarded. I sure don’t feel discarded right now, not with Hassen’s glowing eyes burning into mine. Slowly, regretfully, I give him another shove and push back, moving away from him. “I’m not having sex with you. That was a figure of speech.”

“Because I am bored. I am so damn bored.” I sling the bow back over my shoulder, irritated. “The other girls in the cave are all busy with raising babies or making babies. Everyone else is out hunting or gathering or whatever the hell it is you people do. Even my sister won’t let me join her because I’m too damn fat and out of shape.” I’m still stinging over that one. Since coming to the ice planet, I’ve been shedding inches like crazy because of all the physical activity. I thought I was actually looking pretty svelte, so to hear that I’m considered a burden hurts. No, scratch that. It makes me angry. No one’s giving me a fair shake on this planet, all because I was a little temperamental when I found out my sister was stolen.

“I understand.” That isn’t what I expected to hear from the big, muscly jerk that stole my sister and just tried to make out with me. “You do?” “I understand boredom.” He gestures at the endless snowy hills around us, his face hard. “You think I do not get bored with no one to talk to? Hunting day in and day out with barely a word spoken to another? You think I do not long for company around the fire at night? I would gladly take Taushen’s snoring over the silence of being alone.”

I don’t point out the thought niggling in the back of my mind: that I need to be able to take care of myself if I ever can’t take it and want to leave the tribe. I keep telling myself that will never happen, and yet I keep thinking about it. Because I don’t feel loved, or needed, or accepted, and I didn’t realize how badly I needed those things until now.

Oh. Is that his only concern? I smile, relieved. It feels like he just agreed to be my friend, and it’s strange how happy that makes me.

“W-what are you looking at?” God, I sound all breathless. But him grabbing my hand has kind of thrown me for a loop. His hands are so freaking big, and I feel all dainty and girly next to him.

Part of me wants to pull my hand back out of his grip, and the other part of me wants him to stroke his thumb down the length of my upturned palm. Or kiss it. Yeah, kissing would work.

Oh, god, now I’m having weird sex fantasies about the guy that kidnapped my sister.

I suddenly feel very restless. I think of the way his skin felt under my hands, the warmth of his body, how big and strong he was. How good he felt to touch. I shouldn’t be noticing these things about Hassen of all people. And yet. And yet. I’m attracted to him, and I haven’t been attracted to anyone else on this planet. I couldn’t get past the horns and the fangs and the tails—dear lord, the tails. But with Hassen, I’m not thinking about that. I’m mostly thinking about pectorals. And how velvety soft his skin was. You wish me to fuck you? I accept.

Stacy just laughs, but I say nothing. What Josie is saying is hitting me right in the feels. I’ve been restless and lonely ever since I got here to the ice planet. Is that what I need, too? Someone to scratch my itch?

You wish me to fuck you? I accept. Maybe…maybe I should have taken him up on that. The moment the idea crosses my mind, I don’t hate it. I don’t hate it at all. It can’t be a ‘real’ mating because we’re not resonating. I can’t get pregnant.

Maybe it’s wrong to focus my attentions on him. He’s probably the wrong guy. But he’s so right in so many other ways that I can’t help it. I toss around other ideas in my mind.

As an exile, I have nothing and no company to break up the endless days. I thought it would not bother me, but it does.

Helping Mah-dee learn to hunt will not fix the ache of loneliness, but it is something to do while I check my traps, and she is fierce and interesting to speak with. I do not know if she will be easy to teach, but that is the least of my concerns. I am just eager to have company through the day.

I sigh, because I know she will not give up on this. More, it is a topic I am not keen to discuss. Just thinking about it feels as if I have to peel back a layer of skin and expose myself.

I grab at it and glare at her. “You wish to know how I feel? I am angry.” Her eyes go wide. “Go on.” “I am angry that I am a strong, capable male and yet my khui is silent. I am ashamed that I broke the rules of my tribe and stole a female that hated me and did nothing but cry every time I looked at her. I am sad that I am no longer welcome. I am disappointed that I risked all and gained nothing. And yet…I am happy for Rokan. And I am…” I let the words trail off, because I remember that Mah-dee is Li-lah’s sister. “You are what?” she prompts. “Spit it out.” “I am…glad that Li-lah is not my female.”

“She and I…we were not a good match. I thought perhaps I would get used to her, that we would grow into each other, but…we did not, and I am glad for it. And then I am even more angry that I broke the rules of the tribe for her.” I flick the spearhead away from my skin. “Does that satisfy you?” For some reason, Mah-dee smiles brilliantly. “Actually, yes.” I grunt. There is no understanding females sometimes. “Then I am glad my pain pleases you.”