Barbarian's Taming (Ice Planet Barbarians, #8)

by Ruby Dixon

Everyone’s so damn happy. Everyone but me. Me? I’m lost.

Everyone in the tribe adores her and they can barely tolerate me. I’m like a stinky fart that’s lingering in the cave and everyone tries to ignore.

They don’t understand what it’s like to be so alone, even in a sea of people.

I have Lila. Like I have in the past, I’m ready to shield her from the world’s harms and interpret for her when someone doesn’t know sign language. Except my sister doesn’t need me anymore.

I don’t fit in with these people, but I also don’t have the option to find another people. There are no other people.

I’m just a selfish jerk of a sister who doesn’t know what to do with herself when she’s not needed anymore and suddenly finds herself with no friends.

In a small community like this, not playing by the rules gets you left behind.

I am exiled. I am nothing to my people now. I did not think I would care, but…I do. Their scorn hurts me.

I only wished to resonate with her, to cherish her and start a family with her. I want what the others in my tribe have with their human mates. I want to feel the warmth of another body against mine, to have someone to talk to. To see her belly full with my kit. I would never harm Li-lah, yet she flinched away from me every time I spoke to her. And then she would cry, again. It soon grew to the point that I was looking for excuses to leave the cave so I did not have to endure her weeping and trembling.

I can take no mate because I am exiled. I have no cave to call my own. Until the brutal season arrives, my bed is the snow outside, and my task to bring in as much food as possible. Once I have worked hard enough, I will be forgiven for betraying the rules of the tribe. Until then, I have nothing and no one.

I feel like I’m losing my sister all over again, and this time not because she’s been kidnapped, but because she’s in love. There’s no getting her back from this. The close bond we had prior to arriving here is gone forever, because Rokan will always be attached to her now. It’s no longer Maddie and Lila against the world. Now it’s just me against the world, and it’s the loneliest feeling ever.

The tribe was all I had, and now I have nothing.

How can one small human find so much trouble so quickly?

“Is this a human thing I do not understand? Do you enjoy endangering yourself?”

I am surprised…and honored that she has chosen me as a pleasure-mate. “You wish me to fuck you? I accept.”

“I will make it good for you,” he says in a gruff voice. “Tell me how you like to be pleasured and I will do it.”

I know what it’s like to be ignored. I know what it’s like to feel like everyone in the world is against you. I know what it feels like to be on the outside and wanting desperately to be accepted.

I don’t point out the thought niggling in the back of my mind: that I need to be able to take care of myself if I ever can’t take it and want to leave the tribe. I keep telling myself that will never happen, and yet I keep thinking about it. Because I don’t feel loved, or needed, or accepted, and I didn’t realize how badly I needed those things until now.

Stupid head, always holding on to the wrong stuff.

Oh, god, now I’m having weird sex fantasies about the guy that kidnapped my sister.

There is no understanding females sometimes.

Haven’t you ever had sex just to, you know, scratch an itch?”

I shake my head slowly. “I have never mated with a female.”

“Then a ...

I frown. “With ...

Mah-dee chuckles and bites at my lower lip. “Relax, big guy.” I try to. Nothing in my body is ‘relaxed’ at the thought of Mah-dee’s touch. Everything is tense and aching and desperate for more caresses.

“My cock has ridges as well.” Just in case she does not know.

Mah-dee gives a little moan, pulling back before our lips meet. “Really?” Her breathing has sped up.

I nod. “It is...

“Oh, I think it is,” she breathes, and then presses her m...

“Don’t be such a baby,” she murmurs as she pulls at the clothing. “I’m going to put my mouth on you again.” Her hands go to my bared chest a moment later and she sighs with intense pleasure. “God, are you this hard all over?” “Harder here,” I tell her, and take her hand and place it on my cock again. It is a bold move, but I am learning that Mah-dee is a bold female.

“Hmm. Fair enough. Can I touch it?” “I would rather you continue to touch my cock, but you can touch it, yes. I am yours to touch wherever.”

This is what it is like to have a mate, I realize with wonder. Holding your female in your arms and pleasuring her. Knowing that she is yours for all time.

If she does not want me to be controlled, I will not be. If she does not want me to be patient, I will be an animal with her.

And the knowledge that this is my female, now and forever. Mah-dee gave herself to me today, and I am never going to let her go.

“He is a poor choice in a lover because he is going to want to claim you. That one desperately wants a mate and a family. He is lonely. He will not take whatever scraps you toss him and be content. He will want more.”

“I do not want one night of you in my furs. I want you in them every night.”

She has crept into my heart like a bolt of lightning and left scorch marks wherever she has touched down.

“I cannot change the past. But I also do not miss your sister.” I reach out and tap her mouth, indicating she should close it. “I do not look back because I cannot change the past. You should not, either. That is one of the first things you must learn as a hunter—do not regret what you do not have. Make use of what you do.”

If I can find my own, I can survive on my own. I won’t be dependent on anyone.

Survival seems like a never-ending job. But in a way, I’m kinda motivated by that. You take, you give back. It just makes sense.

Dear god, these alien men have such naughty equipment. God must definitely be a woman, because this is a gift from heaven if there ever was one.

“Mah-dee?” Hassen’s hand touches my backside, which is raised up in the air. “Are you well?” I think your dick broke me. “I’m fabulous,” I say in a breathless voice. “Boneless but fabulous.” He rubs his hand on my ass. “This is going to get cold. I do not want it to freeze—I like watching it move when I take you.”

Mah-dee is smiling at me. She is pleased with my declaration that I wish nothing more than to mate with her. It feels as if I am deceiving her, yet I will go along with it. The truth is, I have not changed my mind. In my mind, Mah-dee is mine. She is my mate. But being close to her and not being able to touch her is torture. I will not choose that. I will choose another route. Let her think I have given up on my quest to claim her as my own. I have slept on my anger, and I now have a plan. I will not blindly rush forward. I will enjoy these few days with Mah-dee while the weather is pleasant and she learns to hunt. I will endure until the brutal season as an exile, and hunt harder than ever before. When it is over, I will talk with Vektal about rejoining the tribe as a hunter. Then and only then can I claim Mah-dee as a mate. By then, Li-lah will be carrying Rokan’s kit and all will have forgotten that I stole the weak, crying sister when I should have stolen the fierce one.

I will claim her every chance I get. I want her to need me as much as I need her.

My mate has a soft heart, but she does not yet understand that sometimes a killing is a mercy.

I want to tell her that she has no need of learning to hunt if I am her mate. That I can take care of her and provide for us if she will accept me…and if the chief will accept me back. Each night around my small fire seems to grow longer and lonelier.

As long as I have Mah-dee at my side, I will take what I am offered and be thankful.

“So what does this mean for you and me?” she asks.

I hate that I must say the words. “Today will be our last hunting trip. It is as you have said. There is no ‘you and me.’”