More on this book
Community
Kindle Notes & Highlights
“Because there’s no such thing as life without heartbreak,”
was one of those moments when you feel unbelievably lucky to have been placed on the planet at the same time as the people in your life.
“Being something for someone else is a perfectly good waste of a life, isn’t it?
dark things must be loved secretly, in the space between the soul and the shadows.
Because what I was really longing for at that moment was for someone to long for me.
(Not that this was fair in any way; I know that. But we so rarely hear the truth because it is unfair, and even so ugly that we can barely admit it to ourselves, let alone another person.)
In your twenties, it’s easy to think most of your better days are still up ahead. But sometime around the point at which you find yourself in a face-off with forty, time does a peculiar thing and unfolds at once, almost like a map, so that while you can see that you are no longer truly young and you are not yet old, it’s quite clear that you will be very soon—if you’re lucky.
When something comes to you so easily, it may leave that same way, and you’ll be left wondering if it ever was at all.
I, too, often felt like I was playing a part, at least when it came to being a grown-up.
“Doesn’t matter what something is. It’s what you call it that counts.”
That’s how it goes; so much disappears, but the memories that remain are often so vivid they might as well have just happened.
On the whole, I was actually quite content. But we humans aren’t too good at stasis, are we? No—we like to throw a wrench into something the minute it starts running smoothly. We throw ourselves over the ledge reaching for the big, shiny object, when the smaller, duller version would do just fine.
save for a few letters, the difference between love and loss was so slight it was almost impossible to perceive.
“Though I guess you don’t ever really stop loving someone, do you?”
Love me when I’m at my worst. Love me when you don’t agree with me, and when this no longer feels new and surprising. Love me through it all.”
Once you love someone all the way, you love them forever. That’s just how it goes.”
It’s funny, when someone close to you dies, it’s almost impossible not to reflect on your own impending mortality. Death is nothing if not a reminder that no matter how long it may be, life is always too short.
I wanted so badly to have a partner who wouldn’t abandon me that the minute it seemed like he wasn’t going to be there for me, I ran in the other direction to try to save myself that loss. In the end, it only hurt worse.”
Surely this recollection is somewhat inaccurate, but I suspect that there’s no such thing as absolute truth. Every event is different to those who have lived it, those who have witnessed it, and those who only later read of it.
I had forgotten just how adaptable we humans can be when change is not a choice.
Each story is different. Every story ends with loss.
But above all, I want you to embrace the love you find yourself drawn to, whatever that may be. I hope this book will show you that if you can find it in you to push past the fear of loving another person—if you can learn to live with the inevitable loss that comes with doing so—you will know a good and meaningful life.
I could be wrong, but I suspect that the people we are drawn to are the ones we need most, even if we are never able to fully comprehend why.
As much as we crave a concise, linear narrative, life happens as it will, often in a haphazard fashion that feels anything but finished. We must cobble together our most important moments and call them our story.
But try to remember that loss is an incredible stroke of luck. Yes, luck. For loss carries with it two truths: that you have loved, and that you yourself have had the good fortune to live a little longer.
